Frosty, Webling and the Know-It-All || Avengers fanfiction

16|Midgard

Loki has being saying a lot of references to vines these days and its weird. i knew peter would be a bad influence on him. Like yesterday we were out of cereals and peter said "this bitch empty" and Loki without looking up from his book replied "yeet".

lord send help.

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"isn't it uncomfortable wearing...that uh clothes?" peter asked

i dramatically gasped " 'that clothes' is Asgardian leather of its finest, although he is right isn't that really uncomfortable ? how do you even sleep?' i asked Loki

Loki shrugged

"OH we should go shopping" Peter suggested

"to wear Midgardian clothes? absolutely not, Midgardians have no taste at all" Loki said

"well you are ganna have to blend in and you cannot wear you 'fancy' Asgardian clothes"

"ill just conjure up some clothes" Loki said

"so you can wear black suit with a black shirt AND a black tie, dressing up like a witch? absolutely not." i said

"hey" Loki looked looking offended

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well in the end we went shopping ,with Tony's money of course. Ill buy him some scotch.....

"I did not agree to this" Loki complained

"we did not give you a choice frosty"

Loki shapeshifted into a high schooler so SHIELD or someone else would not recognize him.

We were there for nearly 3 hour. THREE HOUR.

me and Peter picked out some clothes. I have to say Peter loves his science pun shirts. Loki on the other hand just could pick one. He kept picking suits?? How is he going to sleep in a freaking suit??

he would turn into himself and try on some of them, it looked good but it was too fancy to sit at home dressed like that.

"For the love of thor please just pick a shirt. A normal shirt. we have been at this for THREE hours" i said

"well i cant help it if you Midgardians have crappy shirts" he said

"you know what let me pick some for you" i picked up some formal very Loki-like shirt and went to pay for it.

"okay maybe these are not that bad" he said

"of course they aren't bad, i picked it"

oh i forgot to tell you , the cashier was a real bitch.

for starters she wouldn't get off her damn phone, second our conversation went like this.

she looked at me from up to down, like she was judging me.

"any problem?"

"uh no just, are you sure you can pay for all of this" she asked

okay what in the Dhar Mann videos-

"excuse you?" i said really annoyed

"nothing" she said

this bitch-

"is everything alright?" Loki came from behind

Guess what.... she just pull on a Debby Ryan. This two faced bitch

"no sir everything is alright" she replied blushing

Its the British accent isn't it

Loki went to peter and they were talking , the cashier told me the price and i handed her the credit card. She packed it up and before i left i said

"oh also keep in mind,I'm the one buying here, and you are the one working here, lets not forget that. Good day to you" i smiled and left

yes i know its not my money, but i taught that bitch a lesson and that's what matters.

"hey Zen we are ganna introduce Loki to Mcdonalds come on" peter said heading to the food court

"thanks" i said to Loki

"I do not like two faced people and she was being very rude to you, besides you handled it just fine" he said

"Well you might wanna look like a 16 year old again" I said and he shapeshifted back

and we headed to the food court

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Loki took a bite of a burger and he looked like he had reached heaven. It was like holy music was playing in the background with rainbows and unicorns all around.

"This is...not bad" he said taking another bite

Peter and I just looked at eachother smiling.

The we made him taste some soda and a legendary scene took place infront of me

"This drink,I like it..ANOTHER" He said throwing the drink"

"HEY why did you do that?!" Peter asked

Then he looked at me

"You've got that look on your face again..." Peter said

"What look?"

"The face you make when you knew it was ganna happen or it already has happened"

"It has happened, with Thor, the first time he was on earth"

"You know the first time he was here on earth?" Loki asked.

"Of course I do, you're a movie in my earth remember, he landed on New Mexico and got hit by a car, classic" I said

Loki smiled, like when he smiled after thor told the snake story.

"Mr. Thor got hit by a car?!" Peter asked

"More like the car got hit by Thor but yes"

We headed home and i told them more about how he got hit my a car twice and how everyone thought he was a crazy man. And how he stole the book from a very protected facility

"guess he did learn something from me" Loki said