a song (for you) // Ben Gross x OC

3 ~ venomous

TW: emotional/mental abuse, mentions of self harm, mentions of drugs (marijuana)

Most of this takes place in the past and explains why Carlos is so protective of Jezalyn! If you do not want to read this chapter that's okay! I will put a small summary in the start of the next chapter that will explain it without going in depth. Take care of ur mental health loves!!

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"When you told me that you missed me
Well I couldn't close my eyes
'Cause I realized what it felt like to die
'Cause all you'll ever be
Is a nightmare and a wet dream,
A reason to smile from six feet under ground"

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Jezalyn Gomez was many things: popular by association, depressed and anxious with a splash of  ADHD, and a stoner since her family didn't believe in medication for mental health, so she was left to self-medicate.

She was definitely not perfect, but oh, was she good at faking it.

Before the Gomez family relocated from San Diego to Los Angeles, she was a middle schooler. 13 years old and possibly the most naive girl around. Jez was a singer with a powerful voice and a kind heart.

Carlos was only a year older and was very protective of his baby sister. He lived to skateboard and play soccer with his buddies. After years without their estranged father, Carlos learned how to protect Jezalyn. He was going to protect her from anyone who threatened to harm her.

Or he was going to try.

But he didn't think that the person he'd have to protect her from would be his own former best friend, Matthew Tristan.

Yeah, a first name last name situation. He was the WORST.

Matthew had been Carlos' best friend for years. He even had dinner with the Gomez family weekly. Mrs. Gomez treated him like another son, a very pasty one, but a son nonetheless.

"Hey dude, could I ask out your sister?" A 14-year-old Matthew asked one night while the two were shooting hoops outside of the school.

Carlos hesitated for a moment before responding, "yeah of course!" He beamed, "you'd be perfect for her!" Carlos thought that his friend would be good to Jez because Matthew was good to him. He was so wrong.

What Carlos didn't know, was that Matthew came from a very toxic family. His parents would yell at him and tear down his confidence every chance they had. And he took that pain out on others.

When Carlos told Matthew he could ask out Jezalyn, he didn't know she would become his verbal punching bag.

Their relationship caused her to harm herself. She lost all motivation to leave the house on the weekends and would cry herself to sleep at night.

Matthew would break up with her, just to talk his way back into her life when she was the most broken and vulnerable. It went on for a solid year.

~

Sometimes, Jez could still hear his prepubescent voice screaming at her:

"This is YOUR fucking fault. You waste of human space." He screamed after they were 10 minutes late to a baseball game.

"You called that a performance? I've heard tone-deaf cats that sound better than you did." Matthew shouted, after Jezalyn's first solo in choir.

"You didn't think you could get rid of me, did you?"

He'd always flash a wink from his right eye. The memory of his dark, deep brown eyes struck fear into her heart for months, long after her mother remarried and the family moved to Sherman Oaks.

Carlos never forgave himself. He thought he was protecting Jezalyn, but by the end of it, he saw the pain in her eyes and that bright light fade to black.

So, he did what he had to do. He kept everyone at a distance, for both his own and his sister's safety.

He also totally beat the shit out of Matthew Tristan.

~

After Jez finished middle school, the siblings spent a whole year together at Sherman Oaks, and Carlos kept the school safe for Jez. Nobody would bother her unless he allowed them.

Carlos even thought that what he was doing was helping, because his beloved sister wasn't hurting anymore. She started singing again, and my god did she have a lovely voice.

She was smiling again. She was dancing around the house and she was soaring.

Carlos would sit in his room, smiling to himself, knowing that he did what was best for the family. And so did Jez, because she knew that faking happiness was the only way for her brother to relax.

After that year of high school, he let her expand and get "close" to his friends, inviting her everywhere he went.

Jezalyn seemed like more of a pet to him than a sister. But she let it happen. And she let him believe she was all better. Because he needed that.

And deep down, she wanted to believe that too.

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Author's note

this chapter got DARK oh my goodness I'm so sorry!! I just wanted to get the sibling backstory out of the way with a bit more context! I still have a love/hate relationship with Carlos atm but I really think that you might all grow to love him! I'm gonna write the next few chapters to have a lot more Ben content (there will also be daxton in the mix!) Thank you again for reading and don't forget to drop a vote or comment!!!

Also, I'm thinking of editing some chapters to add in the song that inspired each chapter, what do you guys think??

See ya soon!!!