Petals of the Pained. // A DaiSuga fanfiction//

「Where does it end?」

Sometimes, it takes a long time for humans to make the most obvious revelations.

It could take hours, days, months, years. Hell, sometimes you don't even realize in a lifetime. But it's not always a matter of time, but of situation.

And sometimes, when you do finally realize. You're too late.

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Fingers pressed to cold glass...he watched as the heart rate monitor showed the slow beats of his heart. This eyes followed the calm, shallow rise and fall of his chest.

He couldn't bare to see him this way. His heart ached as he saw him this way. He felt frozen in place. Terrified of sitting inside the room, breathing the air of the room. He felt safer, on the outside. And he had reason to feel that way.

The helplessness he felt was suffocating, every single moment they shared would snake it's way into his mind. Daichi was fighting chaos. Chaos, and sadness.

He wasn't winning.

The mix just churned and twisted into a senseless anger. His blood ran hot,

Why? Why? Why is he doing this to himself? Why isn't he getting the surgery...why..."

He didn't understand.

It was as if he was trying to find north in a snow storm. He was in the thick of it, but completely oblivious. Understanding obscured and comprehension was almost unreachable.

He'd think about it. On his way back to his own home the thoughts would crowd him, pondering who, and why? The air was sharp and cold, nipping at the exposed corners of Daichi's face. But he didn't seem to care...

And no matter what, he couldn't help but see Suga everywhere he turned. Even in the simple actions.

'...he loves late night walks...'

"...it's chilly tonight, he would be freezing right now..." he mumbled to himself, and Daichi carried his heavy feet home.

As soon as he opened the door the warm air rushed towards him, his mom had been cooking. He took off his shoes at the door and entered the cozy home. Although his mother cooking came as a surprise, given how late it was.

"I'm home..." he muttered as he walked into the kitchen.

"Oh Daichi...I made you food, I knew you'd be home late...so...How did it go...?" She asked wiping her hands on her apron. The hesitance was clear in her voice and you could tell by a glance at her eyes how weary she was.

"His condition worsened...he's been moved to the ICU." Daichi looked away. He didn't want to face his mom, he was worried that the tears he held would spill and worry her more.

But in the second he looked away his mother wrapped him in a warm embrace, she rubbed circles on his back. Daichi didn't expect the gesture but he hugged back. The warmth...it overwhelmed him. He had been enveloped in a biting cold, a lonliness that could make a flower wither. He was unaware that he needed the hug, the warmth. Then his tears began to fall and all he could do was weep into his mothers shoulder hiding his face, a feeble attempt at keeping up his bravado of "strength".

"Why him...?" Daichi uttered.

"Because love isn't fair."

Daichi dug his face deeper int the woman's shoulder.

"I feel so helpless...I can't do anything to help him other than be there...but he's still hurting. He's still suffering, I...I can't do anything."

"Well, Daichi. Until this is over that feeling is gonna stick around, I can try and help, but you have to understand that this decision isn't yours to make, Its Sugawara's and whatever Sugawara decides you should be there for him. I know for a fact that he would love your company." She pulled away to look at her son's face, she wiped his tears away with her thumb and gave a melancholic smile.

"I'm sorry you feel helpless. But, I promise you, the moments you two will share and the happiness you'll see when you're with him. That will make you feel better, I'm sure of it."

Daichi squeezed his mother for a little longer before separating. His eyes blood shot and red. Voice hoarse and worn.

"Thank you..."

"Of course. Now, let's eat." The woman put on a warm comforting smile and set up the table. Daichi helping her.

They ate supper together, ignoring the elephant in the room and laughing. The house was warm and filled with the sent of a home-cooked meal. Even the emptiest corners of the house felt welcoming. The happiness coated the home like a warm blanket in a harsh winter. Just the two. A mother and her son.

Happy.

Unfortunately, not everyone can be happy.  With a bleeding throat and a flower infested throat, Suga's pale fingers manipulated a pencil. A paper filled with words of love and sorrow. With the amount of tears he had shed over the past month he assumed that his eyes would be dry for the rest of his lives. Nevertheless there he was, his warm tears rolling down his cold cheeks. As much as he shook, his penmanship didn't suffer. His body was weak, heart struggling to beat. Flowers had almost taken over completely. He should feel it.

Nevertheless he wrote. And he kept going, he kept breathing, he kept trying. Despite the fact that his love will die, along with his body.

"I...t," he struggled and then coughed.

"I...t's....s,so....co, cold." He held his throat and winced, he began to cough hysterically. Gagging and choking. Blood and flowers began to fall, scattering. He beeping machines in the back of his mind, Behind the ringing in his ears

'I hope Daichi isn't cold.'

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Hello, it's been a while hasn't it?

I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I just haven't really felt like myself lately. With school work on top of stuff at home my mind has been struggling to keep up.

I've deprived you all of an update and I'm sorry. But I really do hope you like it.

Shorter chapter

-Hime

SF