Outside The Game

Cutting Ties

Technoblade sat on the couch of your room. He wasn't supposed to go home for a week but you were gone within a day of seeing each other. After holding you like you guys did before. Watching the stars while giggling. It was just you and him against the world. Except the blade side wouldn't leave him alone. His game self seemed to linger on the more he looked himself in the mirror.

His long pink hair similar to what he looked like in the game. Sure he liked the look but it was strange and felt like a heavy burden on him. His thoughts clouded with voices and things he could have done that he didn't do. Things he tried to blame on the side of him that eats at him. It was a constant battle in his head that was new to him.

After the game ended he heard voices. Voices of those who argued back and forth in his head. Controlling his feelings and telling him things he should do that he knows is wrong, yet he still hasn't been able to control it. The argument he had with Dream or Clay rather was more of their game selves than their actual human mind.

They were enemies, they weren't friends. Dream killed people he cared for, people he loved. So why was it so wrong to attack him? It was simple payback one would say. He would have at least one life left after being killed but this wasn't the game. He wouldn't re-spawn praying to god that he'd make it through, he would simply die. That was the difference between real-life and game life. Outside the game was different from this one.

Techno couldn't be violent to which he was so used to. 3 years of constantly fighting things or people that tried to kill him took a toll on how he felt. He tried putting aside the one voice that always stood out to him.

Blood for the Blood God

That was the only voice in his head when he had tried to practically kill him. To be fair though, Dream also fought back. The face you made when you came back to the apartment haunted him at night. The way you quickly tried leaving. He knew when you said you needed a break it wasn't over.

You just needed space. The memories from the game came to haunt you later than they did with everyone else. He knew you still loved him and you knew he still loved you. It was simple, he just needed to get his act together. He needed to make the pink-haired Technoblade disappear and never come back. He needed it to be a memory in the past that would never return. That wouldn't haunt him and the things he has done to survive.

He sat up from the couch and wandered over to the kitchen. He was initially going to get something to eat to possibly make him feel better but once he laid eyes on the counter he saw the kitchen scissors. He looked at his long pink hair and back at the scissors. He knew now what he had to do. He quickly grabbed his wallet and the spare key you had given him and rushed downstairs.

He walked to the bus stop waiting for the bus to take him to the next one right next to a small store. The bus came and Techno quickly hopped inside of it. Once the bus made it he ran inside and went to the hair care aisle. He looked down the aisle till he found it. Brown hair dye. He went up to pay for it and went back. He was in and out of the store witching a few minutes.

The downside now was waiting for another bus to come and pick him up. He left his phone at the apartment out of adrenaline which frustrated him. He was only stuck with his thoughts now. His mind thinking back to you. Were you okay? Were you hurt? He texted you every day, telling you he was sorry and he loved you. He never got a response though. He was worried that you would never come back you were hurt. His heart ached at the thought of never seeing you again.

When the bus finally came he hopped on gripping the shopping bag as he held on the handrails. The bus ride seemed slower than before. He looked around and his eyes landed on a happy young couple laughing and goofing off. He wished that was you and him. The voices went away when you were around but now they are worse than they were before. they never really demanded blood just thoughts that would mess him up mentally.

He couldn't kill anyone nor fight anyone so it made no sense to try and get Blood for the Blood God. He figured out a way to beat the system when they got out of control. He would say he was the Blood God. He didn't need to fight anyone for blood people had to do it for him. That's how he controlled that violent voice, but he let the other ones cloud his mind. The actions he needed to do or thoughts that drove him crazy. He didn't have anyone to tell him it's okay. He didn't have anyone to comfort him when the voices went out of control. They were all gone. 

His thoughts were interrupted when the bus was at his stop. He quickly got off and went inside the building. He ran up the stairs not bothering to wait for the elevators. His adrenaline was already up so he might as well try and lose some of that energy. He quickly walked down the hall to your apartment. His hands shakily unlocked the door. He opened the door and quickly closed it.

He walked to the kitchen grabbing the scissors and pulled the hair dye out of the bag. His hair was light enough to where he didn't really need to bleach it. He walked to the bathroom turning on the light staring at himself in the mirror. He was really going to do this. He really was going to cut his pink hair that has been through it all with him throughout his craziest times in life.

"Sometimes you have to let go of things that remind you of the past to move on to the future and make yourself a better person and live happily without weight on your shoulders" He whispered pulling his hair back. He grabbed the scissors and brought it up to his hair. Pink hair fell to the floor as he cut at each strand. He cut his hair short, it wasn't too bad for doing it himself but it wasn't the greatest either.

He studied his new short hair. He hasn't had this haircut like this in 4 years. It seemed foreign but it wasn't good enough yet. He grabbed the hair dye and opened the package. He turned on the shower and dipped his hair in the water making sure that his hair was wet enough to dye it. He turned back to the hair dye and started dying it. He took note of what ranboo did and mimicked the 19-year-old. He let it sit on his head tapping his foot not moving for the whole time. when it was time to take it off he dipped his head in the shower. 

When he was done the process on what he had to do after he looked himself in the mirror. The weight of his bitter side seemed to disappear with one action. He cut the ties of his old memories and was ready to make new ones. Even though he was going to try and forget the memories, he could never forget the memories he shared with the ones he lost. He wouldn't forget Phil, he wouldn't forget Wilbur, he wouldn't forget the many other people he befriended. Those memories were too precious to him to forget. The people were too precious to him to forget. Though if he could go back in the game he wouldn't hesitate even if he moved on.

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Guys when I try finding sad covers you don't understand how many times I scream "That was not Nesscasary" or "What the hell" or " I hate it here" while crying my eyes out especially when I looked up Passerine Techno which is what that cover is from. That search title. I felt the need to say that because that's what I looked up and I said all three phrases for photos. Also, I wrote this on my computer so sorry if the line things are messed up my phone died so yeah. ANYWAYS  ✨You are perfect and worth it the way you are and don't forget that. You are an amazing person and whatever you're going through preserver and stay strong I know things may seem tough but it'll pass I promise. Love you guys✨