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jay stared at the door in front of him. he's been standing there for a minute now, contemplating whether to knock or not.

should i just go home? why did i even come here? his apartment is far too, such a hassle.

he gathered his thoughts and was about to knock, when the door suddenly opened - revealing the guy he hated to see.

"how long will you stand there? just get inside," the guy raised an eyebrow at him.

"how did you know that i'll come?" jay asked as he sits on the couch. he surveyed his eyes on the whole apartment - as usual, it looks clean. as expected from this neat freak.

"heeseung messaged me. he said that you'll visit me to talk about something," youngbin stated while grabbing two cans of soda inside the refrigerator. "he knew that you wouldn't have the guts to knock at my door. he was right," he chuckled.

youngbin hands him the soda before sitting on the chair in front of him.

"so, what do you want to talk about?"

"aren't you mad at me?" jay blurted out.

"for what? ah, for yelling and voicing out your thoughts on my welcome party? yeah that was kind of rude. but i deserved it, so i guess we're cool." youngbin shrugged.

right. you were always like this. you just don't get angry at anything.

they got silent for a minute, until youngbin spoke again.

"i heard what happened to you and jungwon. i'm sorry," he stared at the soda that he's holding.

jay just shook his head and drank from the can before speaking.

"do you remember the time when i confessed to you?"

march 22nd, the first bloom of the cherry blossoms. i still remember it clearly. that was the day i finally got the chance to tell him how i felt.

i was not the type of guy who excel in anything. i wasn't that good in studying, nor in sports - but youngbin, he was good at everything he does. i was his best friend since we were kids, and i never really thought that i'd like him, more than that.

when we reached highschool, he started hanging out with different people. i knew deep inside that something changed - he was different. he started drifting away from us - from me.

he only talks to me when he's not with his friends, or when he needs help. i don't mind though, because he's still my best friend. i like him, no matter what.

when i told him that i like him, i wasn't expecting him to like me back. telling him what i felt, that was enough for me. we can stay as best friends, i don't care. i just don't want to lose him.

but sometimes, life doesn't go the way we want it to be. youngbin suddenly disappeared after graduation. he was gone. he never contacted us again.

it was painful. i tried not to think about him, when i first got into college. i dated other people so that i could forget about him, but it never worked.

then, jungwon came into the picture. at first, i was constantly teasing him because it was fun. i like how he glares at me when i annoy him. not until i noticed that he likes his best friend. it was like seeing myself again.

i was trying to help him, because i didn't want him to end up getting hurt. i wanted to protect him. he was too pure, his smile just radiates warmth.

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