No Time To...

Spilt

Zuko pulled his long hair up into a ponytail as the boys slept behind him as the three shared a tent. Today he had to leave his boys to go risk his life, to take his sister down. He didn't want to do it, he finally has something valid to live for, not honor, not his father, not his throne, his children...

But they deserved to not be in a world we're there was no equality and only destruction .

"Papa?" A quiet voice whispered to him.

"Aito, why are you awake? The sun isn't even up," Zuko looked behind him as the twin was sitting up with his hands in his lap.

Aito said nothing and crawled to his father and sat against him, resting his head against zukos arm.

"Morning bud," he smiled down at the child, aito was a bit more sensitive but he loved how affectionate he was. It reminded him how he was with his mother, a soft soul.

"Are you leaving today?" Aito hugged his arm and buried his face against him.

"Yep, I got a big adventure, I think I'm getting to old for them though," Zuko pulled him close into his lap.

"Probably, Youre ancient," aito yawned hugging his father.

"Thank you my lovely pure boy," Zuko flicked his head making aito giggle a little.

"Papa, did you love our mom?" Aito asked closing his eyes. Zuko looked at him worried at what could've brought this up, he knew the boys would question more of their birth mother, he just knew he'd never really have a good answer.

"Yes, I did," Zuko cradled him close like when he was a baby.

"Did you always love her?" He asked even quieter.

"Not always, I don't believe in love at first sight, and with that woman it definitely was not at first sight," Zuko smiled gently rubbing his head as he rocked a little.

"But I fell in love like the dumb old man I am, it was hard not too with her, I had competition too," he chuckled at the memories when Aang was still around and how he and Katara use to be.

"Did she love you too?"

Zuko didn't answer that as fast. He didn't know, did Katara ever love him? Like the way he loved her? Maybe he was just a replacement till Aang came back, maybe that's why she ran from the twins, he wasn't the man she wanted to have a family with...

"I think she did," he lied.

"But I think she got scared, and sometimes even if you love someone you aren't meant to be with them," he sighed softly holding his baby boy closer. He didn't care that Katara didn't love him, he got his boys out of it, he didn't need her but he needed them...

"Katara doesn't look like she'd be scared of love," aito yawned again snuggling closer. Zuko looked at him confused.

"Katara? Wha-" "I didn't tell Ren, but I know,"

Zuko brushed his hair back and set aito up right to look him in the eyes.

"I'm not going to lie to you but yea, she's your mother, how did you find out?" He asked holding aitos cheek gently.

"I think I'm a water bender... but I didn't want to tell you cause you'd be mad like you are with Katara," aitos lip trembled a little as he looked down nervously.

"Hey buddy, I'm not mad," Zuko lifted his head.

"Aito, I'm not mad, if your a water bender then that's that, I'm always going to accept you as you are, I'm going to love you just as you are," he brushed his sons hair away from his eyes.

"but that's not why I'm upset with Katara, she's a great bender one of the bests, and I know you will be too," he smiled gently as he wiped a tear that ran down his youngest sons face.

"I'm sorry your first memory with me and her was us yelling, but I was mad at her because I... she.." Zuko didn't know how to put it, he didn't want to be brutal about abandonment but she also wasn't a hero to them.

"She got scared, and she needed time away and wasn't ready to be a mom, and I was mad at her because I needed help because I didn't know how to be a dad and I needed my friend, you and your brother are the first baby's I've ever held so I didn't know what to do," he explained calmly as aito listened quietly, thinking.

"I was scared too," he told him.

"You get scared?" Aito asked surprised.

"A lot, you and ren were the scariest things I've ever faced," Zuko smiled hugging him tightly.

"But I faced what I'm afraid of and now it's not so scary," he kissed his head gently and aito nodded holding his fathers hand.

"So what about Katara now? I don't think she wants to be our mom still," aito gulped a little.

"You don't have to be scared of her, nothings going to change, once the mission is over we're going back home, is that okay?" The adult hugged him close to his chest with a smile.

"I miss home, but can we see more of the world when the wars done?" Aito looked up at him hugging back with a smile.

"We'll probably go to the fire nation even," Zuko chuckled. "That's my home,"

"Hey pops, since you've never been a dad before, was your nice like you? Or was that iroh?" Aito asked not understanding. "Your a good dad, did your dad teach you to be a good one?"

"Aha.. my dad wasn't a good dad, uncle iroh is, but he didn't teach me, he helped me, I wanted a nice dad and he wanted a son again, he taught me to forgive myself and to accept myself, that's what I want you and your brother to learn too and more," Zuko sighed softly looking at the other twin, he saw his face and smiled at the drool that slid down his face.

"I want you both to be yourselves, you don't need my approval to be happy or to be who you are as long as your kind and are true, I spent to long of a time wishing for someone's love that was never going to be given," he whispered softly and aito snuggled closer.

"I don't wanna meet your dad if he's not like you and uncle Iroh," aito frowned.

"Don't worry, you were never going to meet him," he chuckled softly.

"I love you papa, please come back sooner," aito whispered closing his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere for a long time buddy, I'll be back before you know it," Zuko kissed his head softly and closed his eyes for a moment. This was his life, these two kids were his world... he hated to leave them.

"Do you want to tell Ren about Katara while I'm gone? Or do you want me to tell him when I get back? I know you don't like holding in secrets," Zuko asked quietly and aito shrugged.

"Can you tell him?" Aito whispered back.

"Of course, you were going to find out sooner or later, I won't make you tell him, but I rather sit you both down after so we can talk about it," he nodded.

"Okay, will Katara talk to us too?" The blue eyes twin asked again.

"I'll talk to her on the trip, I'm not going to force her to not do something she doesn't want too," the fire bender sighed dreading the talk with his exe.