•|Embracing Scars (Completed)

chapter 9

Jisoo's POV

It's been a week since I got out from the hospital, a week with me carrying a heavy heart. A week without seeing him nor even had a chance to spoken with him.

The moment of him walking out the hospital door was the last thing I saw, not. because I didn't had a chance to glance, because I can't, being heartbroken twice by seeing the man that you love leaving after saying the words of letting go with your worst and vurneblae state, I can't.

How ironic it was that I made a decision for expecting it to help me up but not, because I just made a decision to hurt myself too much, I dragged myself down into a situation were I only regretted and hate myself and even being wanted to just die and be free.

Nevertheless, I'm the person who made all of this to myself didn't I? I was blinded by hope that maybe someday he'll listen to my explanation, to my side and know the real reason behind all the lies in past.

All the painful memories that I'd overcome alone all along the past year, I also want to rant out all my pain, but I'm always choosing to keep it all by myself, and keep my mouth shut, saying to myself that I deserve it because I was a selfish person.

Satting down under the night sky, barefoot at the white fine sand, I need myself to relax and calmed too. The hangout that the squad planned was finally happened and it's been a day that were staying at Jennie's beach house.

A quality time together that should be fun, maybe for them? Because I know to myself it's not, because the man that keep messing up on my mind was also here.

The awkward atmosphere that surrounding us everytime our paths collide, why do I even came to this? Forgetting that we have the same circle of friends. How foolish I was?

"Hey...." My eyes diverted at my side, where the voice came from. Jinyoung.

"Hey...." I gave him a small smile, gazing back at the scenary of the waving sea which making everything calm.

"You good?" He ask, I hummed as I nod my head.

"Yeah" I answered, taking my knees on my chest as I hug myself. It's cold.

I heard him chuckled " it says the otherwise" he said as he place a blanket above my shoulders.

"Thanks" I bowed a little at him and glance back out of nowhere.

"Is Jackson still at China?" I heard him ask, taking his seat beside me, on the sands.

"He's still... business" I answered curtly.

"How have you been?" He ask, pushing the awkwardness away. I glance at him as I let out a force smile.

"Miserable... desperate, stupid" I suddenly said, chuckling, holding myself not to tear up. He pursed his lips seeing my state.

"There nothing's wrong to show someone your vurneblae state" he said to me, as he smiled softly "You can open up with me" he added in encouraging manner.

I stare out of nowhere, spacing out "I want to explode" Narrowing my eyes as tears started to brimmed at the corner of my eyes out of sudden. "It's so heavy here" I said, clutching my chest.

"I'm here to listen...rant it all to me" he cares my hair carefully as he broke out a small smile.

A tear fall from my eye, despite of hating me for rejecting him, here he is. Accompanying me under the night sky, with me with at my lowest and vurneblae state.

"I'm tired....I'm tired of e-everything" my voice began to break as another tears slipped out from my eyes.

"Oh c'mon you can't be just like that, Soo...." He placed as hand on my shoulder as he pat it in a comforting way. I smiled through my teary eyes.