Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

28 | Changed

NATE

I screwed the bottle top back on, lingering like I had all the time in the world.

"Nate, c'mon," my sister pressed. She saw right through my stalling.

Lizzy came down to the basement when she heard the drums, knowing I was letting out pent up frustration. She now had me cornered and on the spot.

"I don't wanna talk about anything," I said, placing the water bottle on the floor next to my seat. I absently toyed with a drumstick and weaved it between my fingers. I imagined it as a little wooden surfboard zigzagging through waves, wishing I could be in the ocean right now.

"I'm not going away until you tell me what you're mad about."

I looked at her, the rare night-time sight of wild dark hair framing piercing green eyes. We had the same curly hair, but she used a flat iron on it every morning, just how I tied mine up to tame it. Both of us suppressing a part of our identities we disliked. We shared the same eyes too—exactly like our father's.

"I'm not mad about anything, I just can't sleep," I told her.

"Why can't you sleep?"

A groan vibrated through my throat as I got up, slumping onto the scruffy couch in the corner. My sister was relentless with this kind of stuff. Why couldn't she give up and go to bed? That wouldn't happen until she got her answers.

Lizzy gestured to my shirt. "You're drenched in sweat. Have you been having those nightmares again? Is that why you can't sleep?"

"Why do you have to go there?" I snapped, mouth curling down. "That shit's in the past, and you know drumming just makes me sweat."

"I'm allowed to be worried about you, Nate."

"Don't." I warned. There was no need for this conversation to escalate into dark territory.

"Fine. It's a girl then, isn't it?"

"What? No I—"

She arched her brows, and I sighed in defeat. I couldn't slip anything past her.

"Her name's Lia," I muttered, pulling at a loose thread on the arm of the couch.

Lizzy squealed and plopped down next to me. "Lia. Wait, was she that girl who came by here looking for you?"

I totally forgot about that. Talking to Lizzy about her suddenly felt way more real since she had actually met Lia before. That familiar 'aw my little brother likes a girl' look swept her face before I even said anything. The same look she had when I was six-years-old and crushing on Olivia Ferris and would carry her backpack around school for her. When I was ten and infatuated with Nina Reyes and would exchange notes with her in history class. And when I was twelve and had my first kiss with Ashley West behind a tree at Danny Taylor's pool party.

Lizzy had edged her way into my personal life as far back as I could remember, always ready to give advice or judge who I was interested in. I'd never admit it, but while she annoyed me with her intrusiveness, her opinion still meant a lot to me.

I vaguely nodded to answer her question, and she gave her knees a loud slap. "Oh, she was so cute!"

Still drawing out the thread, I spoke through a tight jaw. "Yeah, well, she has a boyfriend, so..."

"Oh." Her enthusiasm deflated with slouched shoulders, body resembling a popped balloon. "Is it serious or just a casual thing?"

"It's new, but already serious."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

The weight of her gaze crushed me, urged me to elaborate. I let out a breath and pressed at a knot in the back of my neck. "Earlier when I was on the way to the beach to meet up with Blake, Oli and Alex—"