Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

10 | Refresh My Memory

So I was really doing this. Driving all the way to San Diego just to find out if I freaking slept with Nate Miller.

I rolled down the window of my mom's car that I was driving, the wind immediately whipped my face and gave me the fresh air I badly needed so while I drove. This was crazy, but his sister was right. It's a conversation I needed to have with him face to face. I had never felt so helpless before, just from drinking too much. Not having control of my memories was a feeling I never wanted again. This wasn't me at all, my aching head was still trying to piece together the previous night, but nothing was coming up. I didn't even want to think about how Matt would react if he found out about this, it was so unfair to him. What if I actually lost my virginity?

Ugh, I hated this. I had no idea what I was going to say when I saw Nate.

"Oh hey, yeah so I just want to know if we had sex last night? And if we did, I need you to forget anything happened and we'll never speak again."

I couldn't be that blunt. Even so, did I really not want to speak to him ever again? I felt like he should still be in my life, even just as a friend. Nothing wrong with that...right?

I continued to follow my GPS to the address Lizzy gave me and eventually parked outside the apartment building where he should be. I blinked a few times as my eyes adjusted to the height of it, the area was so nice and classy too. I was just expecting a little house or something, but this was pretty fancy. It didn't seem like Nate's style at all, why would he be here?

Once inside and after getting help from the reception, I found myself in the elevator alone, listening to cheery instrumental music that made me want to rip my ears off. Hangovers and nerves didn't go well together at all. I fidgeted with my shirt as I watched the numbers of the floor levels light up, getting higher and higher. My phone beeped and I checked it to see a message from Rachel asking how everything was going. I hadn't told her I was in San Diego yet. Just when I started replying to her, I received another message...from Matt. It was short and sweet, but it made me want to slap myself for the situation I was in right now.

Matt: Morning, beautiful. Sorry again for leaving last night, hope you didn't have too much fun without me ;) See you at 7 tonight. Xx

I stared at the text with a heavy heart before shoving my phone away. I had to ignore the guilt building up and just focus on what I came here to do. After getting off the elevator and walking around for a while, I found the number of the apartment I was looking for. My breath shook slightly when I knocked on the wooden door, and I wrung my hands together anxiously while I waited.

The handle turned and when the door opened I was almost taken aback by one of the warmest and kindest faces I had ever seen in my life. A woman, maybe in her late thirties, looked at me expectantly and I froze while I took in her pitch-black pixie haircut and large brown eyes. She was dressed in a sleek pencil skirt and blouse, looking quite professional. I realized I hadn't said anything yet and came to the assumption that I was probably lost.

"Hi, sorry I think I'm at the wrong apartment." I pulled out the crumpled piece of paper Lizzy gave me with the address and read it again, but it matched.

"That's okay, honey." She responded kindly, and I wondered if Lizzy wrote down the wrong apartment number. "Can I ask who you're looking for? Maybe I know where they live."

"Um, Nate Miller?"

She chuckled and nodded, "Oh he's here, alright. Come in, come in." She gestured inside and opened the door wider for me.

My eyes bolted around the spacious apartment when I walked in, taking in the somehow homey yet modern look it was pulling off. What I noticed the most were the huge windows that showed an incredible view of the city below. The woman glided past me a few steps and turned to the hallway.