Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

14 | On Track

"That was fun, I'm happy you decided to hang out for a while." Nate said as we walked to my mom's parked car on the street. We had already finished at the diner and were back at his apartment building. Now it was time for me to get back to Oceanside for my date with Matt.

"Yeah, it really was." I dug my hand inside my bag and fumbled around for my keys. "We should do it again." My eyes froze a second after the words had left my mouth and I looked up at him. "Um, I mean— "

"As friends, I know." Nate chuckled and watched me continue to dig until the clinking of keys was heard.

"Right, friends." I repeated, and the word 'friends' didn't roll off my tongue so much as shuffle awkwardly off of it.

Nate had told me he was okay with this, so why was it so hard to say myself? Maybe because I didn't know how to say goodbye in this situation. How do you say goodbye to someone you had an amazing night with and then put them in the friend zone the morning after? Well, there wasn't really a good way.

He had taken me to the diner just for a meal before I left, but somehow this still felt like the end of a date where the girl stalls with her keys and the guy makes a move, but that wasn't happening and I was supposed to be thinking about my date with Matt. Or could I not find my keys on purpose? I huffed and told myself to bury the thought of that being a possibility. I was not stalling on purpose.

I shoved the keys in the door so that I didn't have to look at him and be tempted to stay longer, but I quietly wondered if he would hug me before I left. A tinge of disappointment ran through my veins when I got in the car and he didn't stop me. Maybe I wanted him to hug me goodbye as an excuse to touch him...maybe.

I sighed out and slid down my window, half-heartedly smiling as Nate leaned down to my level and rested his large hands on the window frame.

"I'll see you at school, Lia." His eyes sparkled with a smile and he gave the car two pats before stepping back onto the sidewalk.

"Yeah, I'll see you." I looked back at him and rolled the window up again, trying to suppress the bittersweet heaviness that sat deep in my chest.

My eyes involuntarily glanced up to the rear-view mirror when the car started moving, and I watched his tall figure become smaller and smaller as I drove away.

* * *

I couldn't deny that I was stressed out for my date, I was also excited, but just worried that my stupid brain would slip up and I would somehow spill what happened last night. No matter how much I told myself not to worry, there was still a nervous energy in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't control. And let's not forget the guilt too, I didn't cheat on Matt, but I was still going to hide this to save myself the risk of losing him. I had to focus on him and get my love life back on track.

I stepped out of the steamy shower and wiped the foggy bathroom mirror, looking back at myself and sighing at my appearance. I finally felt clean and refreshed since waking up with a hangover this morning, but I still had faint bags under my eyes that revealed my tiredness. I would just have to cover them with makeup.

After I had brushed my teeth, I went back to my room and contemplated how formal I should dress for the date. Knowing Matt, I doubted we would be doing something casual for the evening. I decided on wearing a little black dress with lace trimmings, and simple black heels to match. My hair dried naturally while I got ready, and by the time I had slipped on the dress and finished my makeup, the wet locks that fell over my shoulders were now only slightly damp and full of wavy curls. I clipped some of it back and then studied myself in the full-length mirror, now seeing a much more presentable version of myself from when I woke up this morning.