Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

16 | Camouflage

I don't know why, but something doesn't feel right.

I looked around the area I was standing in and tried to piece together my surroundings. A small empty playground, warm and balmy air, birds singing happily, and the sense of déjà vu. Although there were some gloomy clouds rolling in, it still seemed like a pleasant day, but there was a strange white haziness that slightly distorted my vision and gave me discomfort. It was almost dreamlike.

I saw a little girl with braided pigtails standing by a shiny red swing set, kicking a dent into the dirt with the tip of her sneaker. Her raven hair immediately caught my eye, because even though she hadn't turned around yet...I knew that little girl was me. I was watching myself from a distance, but I was also in her shoes, feeling everything that seven-year-old me felt.

"Lia, look over here!" An eight-year-old Rob yelled in my direction, causing me to spin around at his enthusiasm. He ran past like a giggling gust of wind, whipping a handful of sand at me while he did so. That was when the tears started. My eyes stung with fire as the grains of sand temporarily blinded me, reducing me into a blubbering mess.

"Papa!" I wailed out, running away from Rob with hot tears soaking my face.

And there he was, comfortably sitting on the bench and reading a book while we played.

"What's wrong??" My father asked in alarm, setting the book down and dropping to his knees. He wrapped his arms around me as I ran into him and cried heavily on his shoulder, taking short and sharp breaths while trying to talk. He rubbed soothing circles on my back with his hand. "Just breathe, mio angelo."

'Mio angelo', or 'my angel' in Italian. That's what I always was to him.

"Robbie threw sand at me!" I sobbed into his neck, gradually wetting his shirt and sniffing in his comforting smell.

"I didn't!" I heard Rob defend himself quickly in the distance. I felt my dad sigh against me before holding my little body away from him. I looked up at him as he wiped the tears from my cheeks, his hands nearly covered my whole face in size. Messy black hair fell into his eyes and his thick brows were knitted together in concern. He was still so young.

"H-he did too." I cried softly. I heard Rob continue to fight back as dad stood up and got his backpack, retrieving a bottle of water from it.

"I did not, why do you always have to tell on me?" Rob walked over to the bench as well, but he kept his space from me and now sported a grumpy expression.

"Because there's sand in my eye and it hurts." I whimpered and rubbed my eyes vigorously. Dad got to his knees again and opened the bottle, flushing out my irritated eyes with the clean water and making sure I was okay.

"Did you throw sand at your sister, Robbie?"

There was a brief pause and then a little 'maybe' from Rob.

"You know that's wrong." Dad closed the bottle and sat back on the bench, watching both of us closely.

"But it's fun." Rob replied with a shrug as I took deep breaths next to him.

"Hurting her is fun?"

Rob stared at the floor with guilt forming across his face. "No, but I'm playing."

"Does she look like she's having fun playing?" Dad asked him calmly. Rob raised his head and looked at my sniffling nose and bloodshot eyes.

"No." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Lia."

He patted my shoulder awkwardly and forced a smile, but I was still sulking.

"C'mon, there should never be sad faces on the playground, right?" Dad leaned forward on the bench so that he was level with us. "Let me tell you guys something you must always remember if you fight ­­­— people come and go in life, and you'll constantly be meeting new faces and forgetting them too, but family...that's forever. No friend can ever have a bond like siblings do, and in a way, you two were each other's very first friend."