Finding Ourselves Together (READ REVAMP VERSION - IN WAVES)

00 | Prologue: Default Protector

This story is no longer being updated because I've rewritten and retitled it. IN WAVES is the new and improved version you can find on my profile, please read that one instead of this!

________________________________

Sometimes in order to find yourself, you need to get lost along the way.

That's something I had heard often in life, something that either sounded like a lyric from an old indie song, or something that would be scratched hastily into the door of a bathroom stall...but no. This was the sentence I had come to resonate with in my own life, even only at the age of seventeen. I learned to find myself the hard way. Well, was there even an easy way? I don't think there ever is.

Seemingly unimportant things or places could impact us more than we could ever imagine; a grassy hillside overlooking a beaming skyline of angels, the red fibers of interwoven strings being connected to one another, a stone mansion emitting both haunting darkness and joyful light, the burning smell of sea salt and ocean breezes overtaking a pair of hopeful lungs, or even the shape and color of a lover's eyes, holding an endless amount of constellations that only you could see, and no one else.

Little things that were always around us, always present and yet not truly noticed until we took a step back and fully acknowledged them. But that's just it; no one could ever know how important things like that were in the moment. It's only after we've experienced them and felt the nostalgia grow for something that we never even knew we had. Only when it's too late to be comprehended at the time. Always too late.

I wish I could tell you that this was a carefree story about falling in love and living life to the fullest. I wish I could give you the comfort in letting you know that nothing bad happens in this story, and that all of the choices I made were for the better. That wouldn't be completely honest, and really...there's so much more to tell.

* * *

I groggily woke up with my face buried in my soft pillow, trying to unglue my eyes open and simultaneously brush away the hair stuck to my cheek. The bright morning light streamed through my window and I winced in pain like a vampire as my eyes adjusted. I wish I were one of those people who woke up looking well rested and graceful. The balmy air surrounding me already showed that it was going to be hot today, which wasn't uncommon where I lived. Oceanside, California to be exact.

I had always felt it was ironic that I lived in this beach community when I didn't even like the beach myself. If I had it my way, I would have been living somewhere that actually got cold in winter, the snowy type of cold where you bundled up by the fire with hot chocolate and marshmallows. My family found this strange; they loved the heat and welcomed it, while I complained about any weather that made me break out in a slight sweat. I had just never seen the point in going to the beach, it was always crowded and the ocean was too cold. Why not just lie by a swimming pool in the privacy of your own home? I would never understand it, but I suppose there was something appealing to those beaches, otherwise why would people go, right?

I hadn't lived in Oceanside my whole life, but I may as well have. I was born in Italy and moved when I was about four years old, I didn't remember much from when I lived there. I only had a few small memories of childhood in Italy, mostly including my parents and older brother. Some memories were flashes of my parents speaking Italian to us, or some were of large family dinners in my old home.

It's funny, but if anyone asked me if I could recall my first memory, I could do it in a heartbeat.

My brother, Rob, only being one year older than me, was very angry when I was brought home from the hospital. He had been told that he would be getting a little brother soon, but the doctors had misread the ultrasound unbeknown to my parents. When I was introduced to Rob and he realized he had been lied to, he threw a fit and demanded my parents returned me and bring him the brother he had been promised. Yeah, he had actually wanted to exchange me.

I had a clear memory of myself lying in a crib and Rob peeking through the wooden bars surrounding it. He scowled at me with a scrunched nose before his big hazel-green eyes grew wide in wonder as he stared at me and I looked back at him. It was like in that moment, he didn't care if I was his brother or sister, he just knew that I was his. It was his job to protect the little package that came home from the hospital, no matter what.

Like many siblings, we fought a lot, mostly about small and trivial things. Despite the fighting, Rob had always been by my side. When our father left our family when we were younger, Rob and I had to be there for each other when our mother couldn't be. She shut down and struggled to raise us alone for a while, and as much as we wanted to depend on ourselves...we wouldn't have been able to go through that alone.

Of course, things got more complicated as we grew up. As we both came into our teenage years, Rob became irresponsible and reckless, while I stayed the same and our roles switched. He was the one who needed looking after now. Since I didn't go to parties or socialize much, he could always count on me to cover for him if he snuck out or to help his drunken butt in the middle of the night when he could barely walk.

I wondered what it would feel like to experience the fun he was having. A part of me was always curious about those parties he went to and the people he hung out with, was I missing out on something?

I had never been one to break out of my comfort zone, so maybe it was time...

A/N: The first few chapters will take some time to get to know the characters before things start picking up, please vote and feel free to comment while reading :)