Hard shell. (Russell Adler x Fem!Bell)

Do you love me?

WARNING -- NSFW/SEXUAL INTERACTIONS/SMUT CHAPTER
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CIA SAFEHOUSE E9, "DIE LANDEBAHN"
(Y/F/N) "Bell" (Y/L/N), (MI16, CIA, ETC.)
52.5200 N, 13.4050 E, West Berlin
March 3, 1981

I slowly swayed my hand at my face as something poked my cheek. My face scrunched as I turned to my side and pulled the blanket over my shoulder. Something poked my face again and I swayed at my face for a second time. "It's 6 AM, Bell. Don't you want to be the first to eat breakfast?" My eyes slowly peeled open as I looked up behind me. Adler held an unlit cigarette, his sunglasses laying on the neckline of his shirt. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, yawning quietly. "Did you say 6 AM? I only got a few hours of sleep.." I sighed out. Adler crossed his arms. "This is how it is. You need to get used to it."

My arms flopped down from my face as I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. The sudden realization of everything that I said last night hit me. Wasn't I going too fast? Wasn't this too overwhelming for Adler? What about Mason? I can't keep leading him on, and crush on both of them at the same time. But Adler is a lot more to me. This was too much. Especially with what I'm dealing with here from my sudden drop yesterday in front of everyone. That's even more embarassing.. I could cry, but I hate showing weakness. "I'll be down soon. Go on without me." He stepped out of the room without a word and shut the door behind him.

I opened my eyes swiftly and just let the fuck go. "Fuck, man.." I muttered between breaths. Tears poured from my eyes. Why am I crying? I shouldn't be the one upset in this situation. I guess I just feel fucked up and guilty as hell. My hands lifted to my face as I wiped the tears. Face? Wet. Soaked. My feet dragged me into the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. Just asking myself millions of questions, beating myself up. The stress and embarassment I've felt lately. Then I fell for two guys! I'm playing two guys at once.. And one of them I genuinely fell for. Holy shit, I've really fucked up this time. My hands grasped onto the edge of the sink. Choking on my own words just consisting of mumbled slurs. A cough here and there, my breaths becoming, heavy and fast. Sharp, sharp pain in my chest. As if I was breathing in glass shards. I weakly reached to the shower handle to turn it on, just to drown out the noises that could wake someone.

I felt like I was having a heart attack. Am I dying? What is this? What is happening? I dropped to my knees, cupping my face in my hands as I sobbed to myself. Apparently It was loud enough for Adler to show up in my bathroom doorway within 30 seconds. He was silent as I felt his hands grab at my arms. My hands were pryed from my face as I slumped in my position, all kinds of fluids coming from my face. You name it. Tears streaming down my face, snot and mucus bubbling up in my nose and spit becoming more and more in my mouth. I was a disgusting mess. He pulled me up by my arms and wiped my face with a nearby towel. God, this man didn't even have to say anything to make me feel better. My legs could barely hold me up. Everything just got to me. Adler put his sunglasses on my ears, pushing them back on my head to hold back my hair as he slowly picked me up bridal style. He carried me out of my bathroom, walking me out to the hallway, just barely making it to the table where he had placed all of the breakfast food he made. "Oh, Bell.." He sighed. I looked up at him as he placed me on to a chair gently. The kindness he showed me made my heart flutter. I practically threw myself at him. He huffed as I hit into him. My mood only growing worse. Tears continued to pour from my eyes. I felt his arms slowly snake around my waist as one moved to the back of my head, pushing my face closer into his chest.

My grip on him became tighter. "You were fine before I left. Then I return because of a loud noise and you're sobbing on your bathroom floor?" He said quietly. This was very unlike me. Even though I don't remember a lot, I remember being strong. Quite strong. Usually, I wouldn't cry. Or rely on someone to calm me down. I let out a deep breath onto his chest. He buried his face into the top of my head, sighing. "You're too much, Bell." He chuckled. I looked up at him. My grip loosened and he removed his hand from the back of my head to reposition his sunglasses on the top of my head.  His thumb wiped the tears from my face and trailed his hand to grab my jaw so that I continued to look at him, making dead on eye contact. "It's hard to get in touch with my feelings, Bell. I wasn't truly ignoring you on purpose. If you'd like to be my girlfriend, then it will have to stay between us. I never like to see you sad." I guess I didn't realize how close our faces got when he was talking. I closed my eyes as he dragged my jaw closer to him, gently pecking me on the lips. Then doing it again. Until we were kissing in the middle of the kitchen.