Walking in the icy, pale snow you stuff your face into your scarf trying to keep your face from freezing. You glance to the untrampled snow in the fields."So pretty." You think to yourself and return your gaze to the the slippery surface. As soon as you reach your school and enter your classroom you put on your bubbly self act, such a perfect act that no one would think you had such a cruel past. Your friends some what knew but never thought anything off it. Oh how stupid they are.
"Hey (First Name) I was watching (Film Name) last night, have you seen it?!" She exclaims and looks so positive as usual that it makes you so angry. Such another perfect act, so fly.
"No. What the heck? I can never picture your t.v off!" You laugh, so fake that even you were having a hard time to try and keep your composure.
"Haha! What? Really?" Just as you were about to answer the classroom door opens. Your teacher and the red-headed president walks in. Akashi stands there, with that usual glare in his eyes, so cold and strong that it makes your heart go numb. Akashi makes his usual announcements and proceeds to his desk afterwards.
"Ok, I have the tests marked from yesterday. (Last Name) could you give them out please?" You teacher asks.
"Ugh why me?" You thought to yourself. Oh how much you just wanted to scream 'fuck off' but you repressed it and it made it hard to breath, like usual. "Yeah." You got out of your seat and as soon as you did everyone was staring at you, watching every move you made. It made you so uncomfortable that it made you stumble but it wasn't noticeable. You took the tests from the teachers hands and began to hand them out.
When you were turning a corner your arm that was covered in plasters, not that anyone would know, whacks off the edge of a desk and you wince in pain, making you breath in heavily. People turned around to look and as soon as they did you regained your composure. "(Last Name) are you ok?" You teacher asks, surprised by your current actions. "I'm fine."
"(F-first Name) your arm is bleeding!" Your friend exclaims and points to your hand, that was dripping blood.
Tch...
"Oh yeah.." You bring your hand up to your left hand and wipe the blood upwards. Your teacher told you to go to the infirmary but she would see, the perfectly straight cuts, no way. You decided to head to the toilets to wash it off. When you exited the bathroom you felt a presence and turned your eyes to the left, not moving any of your body. There stood Akashi, with his arms folded and his eyes staring right at you.
"Did you need something, Seijuro-kun?" You ask him, informally. You and him have.. a past.
"You know (First Name) i'm extremely angry right now." Akashi unfolds his arms and walks straight at you. "Didn't I tell you to stop this?" He grabs your arm and pushes you against the wall.
"Seijuro, you don't honestly understand do you?" You ask him, looking to the side. "Just like everyone else."
Anger grew inside Akashi and his eyebrows knitted in annoyance. "I understand very well (First Name), so much that it makes me feel numb." He admits tightning his grip on your arm. You hiss at him and grab his arm to try to pry it off your own.
Akashi sighs at your stubbornness and releases his grip on your arm, resting his head on your shoulder.
"You know, (First Name), looking at you is just like me looking in a mirror, and it annoys me." He whispers deeply.
Your eyes soften and sigh at his words. "I'm sorry, Seijuro."
On that cold icy day you both found comfort in the understandings of one another.
Woah, sorry guys this is a depresing update but it's the only type of inspiration I can find right now.
This is my current situation and it's bringing me down. I've now found comfort and relief in cutting when things get too much, instead of this I've tried asking my mum for anti-depression tablets and to do whatever it takes to get them but no she still insists on conncelling which I will never do. Being called out by the schools concellor 3 times and turning them all down would that not give you a hint?
Sigh..
I've never believed the quote 'Your past will come back to haunt you' until just recently, my depression has come back and crying and doing nothing won't 'solve' it anymore.
Well yeah this is a depressing update but I hope you can understand my current situation.
Thanks for reading!
