Why must bad things happen to happy people? It's like they shouldn't be happy. They should suffer. Society standards make it even harder to survive. "All I want is a happy life. Is that too much to ask for?" She repeats to herself. Endlessly. It's mental torture. Yet, it won't stop.
"If I had to choose one sentence describe mental health, it would be this." You pause as you struggle to get the next sentence out. "It's like darkness forcing its way through you, causing pure agony to your feelings and attempting to destroy them."
The class seems to be listening to you. This is probably the first time you have had so many people pay attention to you. Normally, your ignored. When your not ignored, your being criticised for every little fault you have.
"Wearing no make-up makes you look like a pig!"
"Your so weird. Why are you even alive?"
When these insults are hit at you, you try to not let them get to you. But no. They always do.
Just because your not like everyone else. Just because your hair isn't a certain length, just because you don't weigh under 8 stone, just because of everything. Everything about you was different. Your frame was larger than a 'normal' girls. You had broader shoulders and you were taller than most. But is that really so bad?
The stares of your classmates was starting to make you feel uncomfortable. You zoned out as you were talking about something that affects your every move. And they knew it. They knew at the amount of detail you put into your speech compared to everyone else was beyond explanation. Your speech was even making the teacher look at you with suspicion. You had a lot more to say but you decided to finish. You turn to look at your teacher to let him know you have finished. He gets up and thanks you and returns you to your seat. Everyone stares at you, with evil infested eyes. You couldn't help but feel scared.
As the bell rings you attempt to gather your things swiftly, without letting your classmates know you were in a hurry to run away from the atmosphere. You managed to get out of the classroom without anyone shouting your name 'playfully'. As you pass different classrooms, the nurses office and different club activity rooms, you see the basketball club. Strong and happy, bouncing the sturdy ball off the wooden floor, making multiple slamming sounds. The noise seems to ease your frustration, and you wish you could ask to watch, but even that is 'bad'.
"Your not allowed to. You don't have any right to ask that."
Your heart pounds with hurt as your brain sends these words to your heart. You quickly continue on your way until someone from behind speaks up. "You seem to be interested in basketball. Y'know how to play?" The voice resonates in your head as you hear him. You stop and attempt to turn around to face him but you couldn't. Instead, you start to shiver with fear as to what he might do. Throw verbal abuse? Throw something at your head? Until he speaks again.
"Hey, are you okay? Your shivering you know?!" You couldn't help thinking 'thank you, captain obvious, but that thought quickly disappears as you begin to walk off. "Wait! I'm concerned!"
"This guys seems to speak his mind. Quite like me. The 'me' I will never show." You think to yourself. His words frighten you though and you take off. The sound of him running fades as you run in a completely different direction. You are now behind the school, just about to attempt to climb over the school gates, until your thoughts stop you in your tracks.
"Why is a boy talking to me? What else could he want other than to stab my weaknesses? I'm not skinny, I'm big. Over 8 stone. Over 9 stone. He's making fun of me right? But, what hurts more is that he said something nice." Your tears build up in your eyes and you let them escape as you collapse to the ground. You didn't care about anything right now, you just wanted the pain to stop.
Dear readers,
Thank you for taking your time to read this chapter, and I do hope you liked it. I didn't plan anything for this chapter, I just began writing. It turned out different from what I did expect though as I have not mentioned any characters name in this chapter, I wanted to leave you to decide who was calling out to you. Also, I didn't explain why I haven't been writing as late and that would be because I had GCSES to do and also because I didn't really have the time but now it's chill and I have no stresses for 2 months so I hope to update and update a little more often. See you in the next chapter!
