My Unrequited Love? (Completed)

Unrequited Love 14

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       My brings me here at  The Charles Kuonen bridge here in Switzerland. It is a 494 metres long making it a world record-breaking construction. Other unrivalled sights can be experienced in the surrounding area on the Europaweg from Grächen to Zermatt. This is where the highest mountains in Switzerland (Dom 4,545 m) soar into the sky.

Nasa railing ako ng tulay at tinititigan ang pinakaibaba nito. Kung tatalon ka rito, paniguradong patay kana agad agad pero kung sino man ang magtatangkang magpakamatay rito, panigurado ring titiklop at mas matatakot pang tumalon. Sa sobrang taas ba naman ng tulay na ito ano?

"You're not planning to jump, are you?" he said not looking at my direction and just capturing pictures everywhere.

"Yun na nga eh. I'm just planning it pero wala akong lakas ng loob na tumalon rito. Natatakot yung kaluluwa ko." I said.

He laugh at that. Tinutok naman nito sa akin ang hawak na camera. He click it and it captured a picture of me.

"Anong nakakatawa? Atsaka, i-delete mo nga yan."

Ibinaba niya ang hawak na camera at hinawakan ang magkabila kong pisngi at hinarap ako sa kaniya.

"It's just funny how are you actually planning it but afraid to do so. You're always like that. Planning everything but in the end it's either you can't do it or you're afraid to do it. Why are you even planning everything? Can't you just let your fate do so? " saad nito at ginulo ang buhok ko.

Iwinaksi ko kamay niya atsaka pinagpatuloy ang pagtingin sa kaibabaan ng tulay na tinutungtungan namin.

" Planning makes me confident to do things. It makes me ready in every situation. "

Sumandal siya sa railing at tumingin sa gawi ko. Hindi ko naman siya pinansin at nag simula nang mag bilang sa aking isipan.

"But still, in the end, it's either nininerbiyos ka or you still do mistakes. I understand you, My. Mahirap mamili. Pinapili rin ako dati ng tadhana. Ang pangarap ko ba o ang babaeng mahal ko. Sabi ko sa sarili ko na kapag dumating ako sa ganoong sitwasyon, I will choose the woman I love because she's also my dream but when you really at the actual situation, nagbabago ang lahat. It's not all about love anymore. It's about everything. "

He paused and he captured picture from afar. Tinignan ko kung ano iyun. Ibon na dumapo sa railing ng tulay. Napakagandang ibon.

I wonder how do birds choose? Nahihirapan din kaya sila? Tama kaya kung sila ay mamili? Nasasaktan din ba sila kung sila ay namimili?

" I'm actually proud that you choose yourself. At least I'm relieved that you love yourself more."

Napakunot ang noo ko.

"You are relieved? Why?"

Lumingon siya sa gawi ko. "Because when you love, you don't know what are you doing anymore. You're like a fool loving a fool. Well, everyone is a fool when it comes to love. Matira matibay lang sa pagiging tanga. I'm glad na hindi ka sobrang tanga. " he said and he pinch my nose before he laugh.

Sinimangutan ko siya at kinurot ang tagiliran nito.

" My! " sigaw ko sa kaniya. He laugh even more habang nakangiwi.

" But even though you already choose yourself, I know that in one of those two, there's this person who you want to treasure the most."

Napatitig ako sa kaniya na sumimangot. "I hate to admit it but I'm jealous already whoever he is. Wala pa man pero inaagaw ka na niya sa akin."

It's time for me to laugh when he pouted. Hindi niya kasi bagay. Para siyang baboy! Hahahhaha!

"Tawang tawa eh. Anyway, care to tell me who among those two?"

I stop laughing. I became serious. Napabaling ulit ang tingin ko sa pinakaibaba ng tulay. Napakaganda rito. Ang makikita mo lang ay puros color green. It's peaceful.

"In choosing, ano ba dapat ang pairalin? Is it the mind or the dumb heart?"

Napatitig na rin siya sa kailaliman ng tulay.

"None of the two." he said. Napatingin ako sa kaniya habang ang tingin niya sa nakabaling lamang sa ibaba.

"None?" gulong gulo na tanong ko.

"Yeah. None. Feelings. Ang nararamdaman mo ang dapat mong pairalin. Ano ba ang nararamdaman mo? You said this once to me. Kapag nalilito ka, o pakiramdam mo hindi ka okay, look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what's wrong? Or kung ano ang nararamdaman mo at the moment. Once you already ask that, doon lalabas ang tunay mong nararamdaman. "

" I already did that. "

" Then, what did you feel? "

I sigh and then walk away from him.

" To be free from this feelings. "I murmured to myself.

" Hey! Wait up! "

Napalingon ako sa kaniya na tumatakbo palapit sa akin. I smirked at him and run away.

"Heyyyyyy! I said wait up!"

"Hurry up dude! Mas mabagal ka pa sa pagong!" I shouted at him. Sumimangot siya atsaka ako hinabol.

Why am I here in Switzerland? I didn't runaway.

That day, walang namatay. May mga dumating na mukhang mga secret agent at iniligtas silang dalawa. Umalis ako sa lugar ng walang nakakapansin at umalis ako sa bansa ng hindi nagpapalam kahit ninuman.

I was just so sad. Sobrang lungkot ko na nagkukulong lamang ako sa bahay at kwarto ko.

Nalaman ko kasi na  lumipat na si Hacker ng ibang tirahan. My Unrequited love, I don't know what happen to him. Basta both of them, didn't visit me anymore.

It hurts because I know to myself that I let go someone. Tanga kasi. Hesitation just hitting me. Hindi ko na nga alam ang gagawin ko, nasasaktan pa ako. Siguro okay na din yun, nang hindi ko na sila masaktan pa. Okay nang ako na lang ang masaktan. It's my fault anyway.

Akala ko mananatili lang ako sa switzerland ng isang linggo, but I ended up staying here for two years.

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