After Afterall

21

I'm charting in the tunnels beneath the hospital when I notice the Chief standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. "Hi Chief," I say as I set down my pen and give him my undivided attention.

"Charting?" he asks.

"I have a lot of catch up to do."

He nods and ventures further into the tunnel. "Do you have a minute?"

"Of course, sir."

"Right now, I'm your stepfather."

Immediately I relax as Doctor Grey, but my thoughts are heightened as Meredith. If he were the Chief right now, I could be reprimanded, but since he's Richard, it means it's probably about my mother. "What happened?" I ask.

He looks down at his feet and takes a deep breath. "She had an episode last night."

"Okay. How bad?"

"Pretty bad." He slides his hands into his pockets. "We were having dinner and everything was fine until it wasn't. One second we were talking and the next she asked me if I had finally left Adele. I knew immediately what had happened. I reminded her I did leave Adele and we've been married for decades, but she told me she didn't believe me. She got emotional and kept asking how she was supposed to raise a daughter alone and no matter what I said she didn't remember."

I feel my palms sweating. "How long did it last?"

"Over an hour. I called Doctor Morgan afterwards and she said the length of the event is a bad sign. Ellis is probably going to start deteriorating quickly."

"So what does that mean?"

Richard takes a long time to answer. I want to ask at least a dozen times what he's thinking, but I give him time. Of course I have a say in my mother's care, but he's her husband and whatever decision he makes will change their lives. Finally, he says, "I'm planning to retire and care for your mother full-time."

"Retire?" I ask.

He nods. "It's time and not just because of your mother. I'm ready to retire and I have the resources, so now's the time."

"Who will take over as Chief?"

"Bailey," he says confidently. "She's back on her feet and she's back to being Bailey in the OR. After I gave you the Chief of General role, Chief of Surgery only felt right for Miranda. I was waiting until she was back to being Bailey and now seems like the time."

"Are you sure you want this? If Doctor Morgan is right about Mom's diagnosis, it could be really hard on you." I try to consider being as selfless and I know I can't. Maybe it's because I'm still so new to my career; I don't have decades beneath my belt like Richard and my mom. I couldn't give it all up.

"It's impossible either way. However, this way she doesn't need to be in a home and at least for a little while, we can do some traveling and she can keep giving talks. Eventually all of that will have to stop. Being with her full-time will give her more time to be Ellis."

Richard has always been good to my mother and to me, even though I'm not really his. Even so, he's my father, but I've never been more proud to be called his daughter until this moment. I climb from the gurney and walk over to him, still shocked by his height. I lean in and wrap my arms around his waist. I've probably hugged him a handful of times, but this moment deserves a hug. He squeezes me tightly. "Thank you," I whisper.

He releases a breath. "You're welcome."

\\\

My day is long and hard. After Richard's confession, I have back-to-back surgeries and I lose the second patient—a fifty-year-old woman with three children under the age of twenty. As soon as I tell the family, I wonder if they'll also publicly shame me. It's all I think about now after losing a patient; will I pay for this later? I hate thinking that way and no matter how I try, the thoughts linger.