After Afterall

36

Amelia has been calling me all morning, which I keep ignoring. I'm a bad brother.

I know she's been doing well; Mom told me, but I'm not sure I'm ready to listen to her talk about being well. My lack of attention span has nothing to do with Amelia. When she's doing well, I love talking to my sister, but with recent events I'm not so ready to talk to my overbearing family. In fact, I haven't spoken to any of my family members since last week. I'm trying to hold out as long as possible.

There's a knock on the door and before I even invite the person in, Alan is standing in the doorway. "Mr. President, do you have a moment?"

"Sure," I say with a sigh.

I get up from my desk and walk around to sit down on one of my two couches. Alan sits across from me. He has an official White House folder in his hands. "I know you're not interested in discussing the details of you and Doctor—"

"I said no," I remind him for the billionth time.

"Sir, we need to figure out a game plan. June third is less than two months away. It would be better to make the announcement now rather than later."

"I'm very much aware that June third is less than two months away. You don't need to tell me that, Alan." I sound angry and bitter, but I am angry and bitter.

I now understand why the President doesn't date in the White House. Becoming involved with anyone is messy and hard, but it's even more difficult when you're under the constant watch of 330 million people. In the beginning, I never expected us to split, but now that we have, I wish for the days early in our relationship when no one knew we were dating. That time was so much easier. I'm not wishing Meredith and I never happened, but I am wishing we'd fought harder to keep our secret. Maybe none of this would be happening.

Alan sits quietly across from me, which I know is painful for him. He's always so opinionated and I know he's secretly gloating on the inside because he knew this would happen. I know he's on my side for all things having to do with the presidency, but he was never on my side when it came to Meredith. It feels like no one agreed with our relationship, except for Grant and Toby.

I can't claim to be totally okay with Grant. For one thing, the conversation I had with Alan which Grant overheard, was private. We were in this very office, which should be the cone of silence. But I'm also mad because he said something to Meredith. I was going to tell her.

But to be honest, I'm angriest that I didn't just tell Meredith in the first place.

Or maybe fought harder against her taking the job as First Lady at all.

I'm just angry.

"I don't mean to press you, Sir..."

"But you're going to anyway."

Alan nods. "We need a plan. You don't need to announce anything today, but we need to figure out when to make an announcement."

I know he's right and I also know sooner is better than later. So I concede, "I'll write something up. I leave on Monday for my trip, so maybe I'll make the announcement tomorrow. Give everyone the weekend and then make some big moves while I'm in Cuba."

"That's a good plan, Sir."

My desk phone rings and then picks up, "Mr. President?" Sophie, my receptionist, says.

"Yes?"

"Your sister Amelia's here to see you."

I look over at Alan. "How did Amelia get in?"

He shrugs. "I don't know."

"Sir?" Sophie says.

"Yes, send her in." The line goes dead. "We'll need to room, Alan."