After Afterall

27

MEREDITH

I'm scrubbing out from my first scheduled morning surgery when Cristina walks into the scrub room.

"Hey," she says.

I always count when I'm scrubbing in or out, even though it's not so necessary when scrubbing out, but I stop as Cristina leans against the sink. "What's up?" I ask because Cristina looks like she needs something.

"Nothing. Do you want to grab lunch?"

"It's not even ten."

"Fine, second breakfast."

I shake out my hands and grab a towel. "I have another surgery."

"Back to back surgeries? You're either the luckiest person here or you're feeling guilty about something."

My scrub nurse, Brenda, walks out of the OR and hands me my patient's chart. I leave the scrub room with Cristina in tow. We walk to the nurse's station and I flip open the chart to make my notes. "The Chief isn't happy with all the time I've been taking off to spend time with Derek. Apparently I've used up all my days off so yeah, I guess it's partially guilt. I can't complain about getting more OR time, though."

"Wait, he, like Richard? Isn't he supposed to be passing the torch to Bailey?"

"He's still officially the Chief until the end of next week. I guess he's still the enforcer."

"Doesn't Derek have all these weekends planned until the end of time?"

"Yes."

"So he's probably not happy about the news."

I make a point to not look at Cristina when I say, "He doesn't know."

I can feel Cristina staring at me. "Oh," is all she says.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing." She leans back against the countertop. "I just find it interesting." I give her a look. "You've told me about a million times that you and Derek are honest with each other and...I don't know. I feel like you might want to tell him about this."

"I'm going to tell him. Next time I see him."

"Didn't you see him last night?"

I don't want to talk about our fight and I don't want to start fighting with Cristina, so with a sigh I say, "Do you really care what I do and don't tell Derek?"

She thinks for just a second before saying, "No." Very nonchalant.

"Great. Now what do you need?" My voice is on edge.

Cristina raises her hands in surrender. "Touch-y." She begins to walk away from me. "I didn't need anything."

I feel bad. "Cristina, I'm—"

The lights go out.

DEREK

"'We do not negotiate with known terrorists. America is a country formed by the hard work of our ancestors and our ancestors did not bend under the rule of the British and we will not—'" I put down my speech. "Alec, we might not want to throw the British under the bus right now. They have enough on their plate with the Brexit. Also, let's go with something more current." I hand off my speech that I'm sure my speech writer has spent hours on.

"The Iraq War," the Vice President suggests.

"Maybe, but don't use the phrase: The Iraq War. Al-Qaeda would be better. Let's compare terror with terror, not Protestants versus Catholics. We want teenagers to understand what we're talking about."