The Boy Next Door ✑(h.s.)

twenty

Chapter 20

"You don't understand how heart wrenching, how-how much it broke me inside to see this happen to her." I was able to spit out in between uncontrollable sobs. I was ripping off a bandage to a wound that was nowhere near being healed, but once the words started pouring out they wouldn't stop.

"She didn't stop Harry, she was nowhere near stopping." I sobbed out. "And I guess maybe it was my fault for thinking she would, maybe it was my fault for ignoring it like I did, I don't know. Either way it just got so much more worse." His arms stayed at my shoulders as he held me into him, my body shaking, my throat hoarse, and all I could recollect was the past.

"That night when she hit me, she wasn't herself. She was so violent, aggressive. She wasn't Angie. Something was so off with her, and god did I just want to rewind. I wanted it to all just go away. I wanted to close my eyes and wake up from this nightmare, because there was no way that it had come to this.

"After that night, she told me she would lay off, she would do it for not only our friendship, but for her health." I started, taking in a shaky breath before continuing. "You know when someone is only telling you what you want to hear, but you know that everything they promised is utter bullshit? That was me. I was in denial, and I let it eat me alive, I let this façade take over me, and I remember constantly telling myself that everything was fine, that everything was going back to normal... God I was so, so wrong Harry." My face felt numb as this confession continued pouring out. My thoughts that consumed my brain for so long had make their way to surface even after I had purposely tied cement blocks to them, forcing them to drown in my sorrows. They defied my wishes and not only did they peak their way up to the surface, but they managed to drag themselves upon shore and run straight at me.

That's the thing about running from your feelings though, they demand to be felt.

"I had gone over Angie's one day, to surprise her. I don't really remember what it was I was surprising her with, but I went over anyways. I just opened the front door and went in, and straight to her room. I didn't knock first, and part of me is thankful for that, because what I saw, needed to be seen." I recollect looking over at Harry for the first time since I started pouring out everything. "The band she had wrapped around her arm was so vibrant, and I could see practically every vein popping out. The needle thought, the needle God it looked like it was so big, so painful. The way she injected the drug into her body. The paleness of her skin, the lifelessness of her eyes.

"I swear everything slowed down, it was all stalled. I know most people say their first real heartbreak is from their boyfriends or girlfriends, but that was mine, Harry. She saw me standing there, and started yelling, started to plead to me to not say a word. She was so disorientated though, her body and mind completely separate. Like she wasn't really even there." I run my hands through my hair at the vivid memories. They just wouldn't go away.

"I ran, I ran out of there as fast as I could and I locked myself in my room Harry. I shut down. I knew I should've stopped her sooner. I knew I should've said something, but I hadn't. I kept my fucking promise and was being a good friend and letting her grow, but I saw what it was doing to her. I vowed to myself that I wasn't going to let her kill herself." I say letting out a frustrated breath. My bones felt stiff and my back ached from the position I sat.

"My parents had gotten home later that night, and I told them. I told them everything. Everything from the party, to that night she came in my window, to the events I had witnessed a couple of hours ago. I told them everything. They were at a loss for words. This girl that was practically their second daughter, someone they had watched grow up, putting herself in such a dire situation, left them speechless.