The Boy Next Door ✑(h.s.)

thirty

Chapter 30

Numb.

That's all I can use to describe the feeling.

I was numb.

Everything around me was so chillingly still, almost as if every living thing stopped. The world stopped its slow rotation, and the universe halted at my whim. I didn't know what to do, what to say, or how to act.

Angie was dead.

I recall the balding man attempt to console me further, and Harry even trying his best to bring my mentality to the present, but I couldn't.

I was still there, I was just an empty shell at that point. It took a while, but they finally lead us outside the four walls that felt so enclosed, and walked us down more of the blank halls of this prison.

Harry held my hand, and I think I held it back, but I can't remember. It all felt so unreal, like this was all a bad dream. One of which I wished I could wake up from.

But I couldn't. This wasn't fake, this wasn't a figment of my imagination. This was real.

"Poppy, please say something," was one of the first sentences I could properly register within my mind. Harry's concerned expression left me renderless as I wanted to give him some leeway into my thoughts, my emotions. But I couldn't. I wanted to break down into tears and yell and scream. I wanted to express how unfair this was. How she didn't deserve this. "Poppy. Please."

My eyes followed between his as he frantically tried to gauge anything. But there was nothing to gauge.

"Ms. Wilson, there is something we would like to show you." A nurse interrupted the silence between Harry and me.

I followed in a trace as they lead us down the bright hallways of patient's rooms. We stopped in the middle of a doorway, the room empty expect for a few notes and cards beside the neatly made bed. The window cast the outside gloom to inside the room, the dark overcast skies displaying seas of grey in the room.

"Poppy, we'd like you to have these." Dr. Noor informed me. My eyes followed him as he ushered my to sit down upon the bed. He began to hand me envelopes. My eyes skimming over the words on the front made it clear why he wanted me to have these.

To Poppy
From Angie

Each one addressed the same, but dated differently. The last one he handed me though caught my attention the most. It was dated no
more than a few weeks ago, as this was her last letter.

My hands began to shake as I went to open the letter, wanting to see her final words to me.

As I unfolded the letter my eyes began to swell with tears at the familiar handwriting.

Dear Pop,

Hi.

I'm going to be real with you in this letter. I think I'm going to die Poppy. I think I'm going to die and I don't think I can stop it. I would try to tell someone, anyone, but I don't think it will matter.

That aside, I wanted to write to you for another reason. If I never get the chance to see you again I wanted to tie up some loose ends.

First off, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything that has lead up to this moment. Being here has really made me realize all I could have done to prevent this from happening, and they tell you that all you can do is find a way to forgiveness. And that's exactly what I'm asking for. Forgiveness. I'm so sorry Pop and I always will be.

Second, I don't hate you. I know what I said when I left was harsh amd crass, and I'm sorry for that. I was so angry for the moment of being caught. The moment where everyone thought I was out of control when I swore I wasn't. Everyone else ended up being right, and I know that now. It will never make up for all I said to you that day though. But I wanted to make it clear that you are one of the best things that has ever come into my life. I love you, Poppy.

And lastly, don't cry over me. Please. I've been thinking about it a lot recently going through these withdrawls. I see people coming and going every day. Some in body bags and others walking with a new stride in their step. I've seen so many tears here, and I think thats the one thing I don't want. I don't want to cause that anguish upon anyone. Especially not you. But knowing you, you'll cry. But all I ask is that you don't cry for the fact that I'm gone, but you cry because you remember pur fondest memories. Cry for joy. Please. I don't deserve to be the reason you change your life Pop. You are so amazing ans have so much ahead of you, don't let me ruin it.

I think that's all I wanted to say, and I'm sorry it took so long to get out. Know that whatever happens, I'm okay. I want you to be okay too. Be happy for me.

I love you forever, and ever, and ever.

Angie.

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sorry i have to end the chapter here im so emo, im on a bus rn w nothing else to do so imma keep writing:-)