Cutie Pie Irwin

Chapter 18

Ashton sat back and studied what he had written so far.

To be the most annoying human being on the planet, all you have to do is be Luke Hemmings. An arrogant, cocky bastard. Assume everything you want is automatically yours, and never ever take no for an answer. Also, be secretly manipulative, and use this ability like a secret weapon. If someone ever gets in your way, make them pay. And always date the insane girls, who will try and get back at you by threatening your friends. If that's not enough, just be rich.

His research paper for the scholarship was almost done. He had to admit, Luke wasn't as mean as his paper described him to be. Luke could also be kind and caring and even sweet with a sense of humor. But Ashton had started writing it when he first met Luke, and was too lazy to change it.

Besides, the colleges would think his idea of studying someone rather than discussing a topic was interesting and unique.

A few more pages and he would be done, but the problem was, he couldn't think if a good ending. He had rewritten one out twelve times, but it just didn't seem to flow right in his head, and he deleted it again and again.

He sighed and pushed his chair back. He decided it was time to get ready for school. He had already finished his homework and Luke's for the weekend, and Luke had finally paid him a reasonable amount.

He changed out of his pjs and slipped into skinnies and a graphic tee.

He was eating an apple in the kitchen, when a horn honked outside. He threw the fruit away and hurried to the window. Luke was waiting in the driveway.

Ashton opened the front door. "What are you doing here?"

"Driving you to school. Now come on!" Luke yelled out the window. Ashton rolled his eyes but quickly put on his shoes and hurried out.

Ashton handed Luke the finished work and Luke tipped him.

"So, when can I start paying you in kisses?" Luke asked casually.

"The day after we both die." Ashton replied.

"A simple no would suffice." Luke sulked.

"People will think I'm a prostitute!" Ashton argued.

"What's wrong with having people thinking you're hot?" Luke asked.

"I'm sure your parents would love to know you're 'dating' a 'prostitute'." Ashton said sarcastically.

"Oh right, we're 'dating'." Luke said. "I think we should step up our act on that, by the way."

"What do you mean?" Ashton asked, not liking where this was going.

"I mean, come spend the night. We can finish all our homework, I can teach you how to play Fifa, we can eat junk food and watch stupid movies and it will be fun! Plus if my parents see you make me happy, they won't want to seperate us." Luke said, pulling into the school's parking lot.

"Uuumm, I don't know..." Ashton said, looking out the window.

"Aw, come on!" Luke pleaded, poking Ashton's cheek.

Ashton slapped his hand. "No."

"Please?" Luke pouted.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Luke sighed and locked the car doors. Ashton's eyes went wide. "Luke! What are you doing? Classes start soon!"

"I'll unlock them when you say yes." Luke said, studying his nails.

"What? Ugh! You stupid, ignorant bastard!" Ashton ranted. "You can't always have everything you want!"

"It's just a sleepover princess, nothing to be afraid of." Luke grinned.

"I'm not scared." Ashton huffed.

"Prove it. Spend the night." Luke dared. "Come oooooon! It'll be fun!"

Ashton heard the bell ring and he groaned. "Fine."

Luke cheered and unlocked the car doors.

Ashton hurried out and punched Luke's arm as they walked inside the building. "I hate you."

"Love you too, princess."

-

Ashton stood in the doorway to the kitchen and stared at his mom in disbelief.

"Mom?"

"Yes Cutie Pie?" She asked sweetly.

"Why are you sharpening knives?" He asked warily.

"Just making sure I'm well prepared if I meet Varia in a dark alley." She smiled, grabbing another knife from the holder and sharpening it against a stone.

Ashton sighed. "Mom it's fine, really. She's gone, and I'm spending the night at Luke's ton- shit."

Mrs. Irwin squealed and dropped the knife as she clapped her hands. She jumped up. "You are? Really? This is the high light of my life!"

"No no, it's nothing major." Ashton tried to calm her. "He made me do it anyways."

"I can't wait to tell my grandkids this story." She said dreamily. "Now you have to pack! I'll go grab my old wedding lingerie!"

"Ew mom! What the hell?! No!" Ashton made a face.

"How many condoms should I pack?" She wondered aloud. "Ninety?"

"None!" Ashton shouted. "I'm just packing normal clothes and pajamas."

She huffed and picked a up a new knife, sharpening it. "You can't run away from this forever, I want gay grandbabies."

"I'm straight!" Ashton cried.

"Nice Louis Tomlinson impression!"

Ashton groaned. "Whatever." He went up to his room and started to pack. "This is why dad left."