Chapter 29

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Elijah wasn't doing too well.

Eisa had knocked on his door, which was open, when she'd seen him looking in the mirror, frozen in place, his hands shaking.

"Hey," she said, making him flinch. "Don't worry, Brother, it's just me."

"Eisa," he said, having to say her name as if to convince himself that she was really there. "How are you?"

"The better question is, how are you? You look unwell."

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you." His hand trembled as he tried to put on his tie.

She walked toward him, taking it in her hands instead, and tying it for him. "You used to be so bad at doing this by yourself," she recalled. "Before you started liking suits. I used to do it for you all the time. Did Nik speak with you?"

"He did. About what occurred with his father."

"I've spoken with Rebekah, to update her on what I did to our mother. She believes that it would be good for all of us to meet somewhere, and see the baby. Are you up for it? One of us would need to go ahead to escort her, Hope, and Isela somewhere safe before Klaus and Hayley can go. I would say it should be me, but Hayley and Marcel will be bringing Finn and Kol any minute now. I must stay with Finn. If we are to turn him to our side, the only one who stands a chance is me."

Elijah nodded. "Yes. I'm able to go and see Rebekah. Did Niklaus mention how he took Ansel's corpse to the tomb Esther is burrowed inside of?"

"Yes. I'm pleased that she has no way of retaliating. But one thing I fear is that she and Mikael may have been in contact. There is a slight chance they may have joined forces. I didn't take her phone, Elijah. If she sends Mikael or some other colleague of hers after us..."

"I will protect Rebekah, Hope, and Isela," he promised. "You have my word."

She put her hand on his shoulder. "What did she do to you, Elijah?" she whispered. "You're shaken. What did she make you see?"

"Tatia, mostly," he whispered. "Bits of Gia. Of... Isela."

"What were they doing?"

"Running from me. Screaming. Covered in blood and afraid."

"Why do you think you see them?"

"I... I killed Tatia."

Eisa's jaw went slack. "What?"

"I killed her. Not our mother. Since that moment I've locked every atrocity away behind a red door that I refuse to look behind. In our mother's torment, it swung open, and I have seen all the cruel things I have done, that I've refused to acknowledge. I see myself hurting Gia, who I find myself feeling attracted to. I see myself hurting Isela, who I am connected with, as I speak with her about Hope and Rebekah's wellbeing. I hardly know these women, Eisa. And I can see already that I will be their downfall. That I will bring them harm. I cannot let myself—"

"Elijah," she said, cupping his face. "Don't make yourself out to be some sort of monster that we're unfamiliar with. We're all monsters. We don't judge. We don't hold grudges. I've done worst things—"

"But you acknowledge them," Elijah interrupted. "I feign nobility at the price of leaving innocent lives forgotten, tucked away in my bloody subconscious. Eisa, you have never pretended you did something good when in reality, you slaughtered an innocent being. It is the reason why you only hurt those who are sinners. I have harmed women and children who never once hurt anyone. I killed them. Their blood is on my hands, and like a coward, I hid it."

"It doesn't make you a coward. It's trauma, Elijah. Not everyone processes it the same way. You were so horrified about what you did to Tatia that you shut down. For a thousand years, it's been your coping mechanism whenever you feel guilt about murder. You need rest, Brother. You need to speak with someone." She pursed her lips, having an idea. "Please, hold tight. I may have a solution."

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