Ripoff

Thoughts

a/n: today's episode of ripoff brought to you by my daily thoughts

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Act I- The Future Past

Act II- The Fall

"If a penny falls from your hand, does it make a sound?" Shulk said.

"What?!" Link said loudly.

"If a nickel falls from a skyscraper, would it go to the core of the Earth?"

"You just changed what you said-"

"Could you or could you not be sliced in half by a teddy bear?"

"Shut up, please."

Act III- The Meat Industry

Act IV- Nighttime: The Realm of Wonders

Peach cuddled up to her giant teddy bear at the sound of a helicopter passing by above. How weird that a helicopter was up in the air in the middle of the night. Did something happen in the city, she wondered?

... what if it was a bomb?

An atomic one.

That was coming to consume them at any moment and melt the skin off their bodies-

Nah that was ridiculous.

Unless...

That helicopter sounds suspiciously close.

Too close.

Is it crashing?!

She's the only one left awake, would she have to feel the pain of dying all by herself?

Oh it's leaving.

Okay well time for ASMR.

Act V- Suffering

The Final Act- Arrivals and Plays

Palutena opened the door to a man with blond hair and red eyes. Oh wow he's pretty. Pretty short. "Hello, how can I help you?"

"My name is Sheik, Zelda is my sister and I've come to live here," he responded.

Since when did Zelda have a brother? They don't even look alike. Except for the nose, they both have really nice noses. And eyes, too. And lips. ....There's too many people here, what like fifteen now? We could produce a whole musical if we want to. Wait maybe now there's enough of us to do my twelve dancing princesses idea! Let's see, I could be the lead-

"Excuse me, could I come in so I can see my sister?" Sheik said.

"Oh yes! Do forgive me, I was, uh, momentarily distracted," Palutena said, stepping aside so Sheik could carry his luggage in. We could do what we did with the Christmas play we did a couple years ago! I have to get in contact with some charity, but which one? Maybe one that supports minorities? Hm, maybe we could go to an elementary school, too. Ah, so many options. I gotta get the costumes ready.

"Sheik?! What are you doing here?!" Zelda grinned as she ran down the stairs and met up with her brother, hugging him tightly.

"I'm here to stay, to say the least," Sheik smiled. That smile faded slightly as he slowly turned his head to face Link, who sat not too far away. "And also to keep tabs on that guy."

Link gulped down the sandwich he was chewing on. "H-how do you do, your highness?"

Palutena watched in slight awe as Sheik then went on to unleash a full-blown questionnaire on Link, who looked like he wanted to die. Oh my we got an overprotective brother in our ranks. I don't usually like over protective people, but I'll let this guy go 'cause he's cute.

"Did we get a new person?" Ike said as he rushed down the stairs. Palutena gasped, clasping her hands over her mouth, Oh my, the love triangle unites with the brother in the middle! Oh, this is good, this is gonna be good. Everyone knows the one the overprotective brother picks is the winner, so I wonder...

"My name is Ike, it's nice to meet you," Ike smiled, offering a hand.

He didn't know why, but Sheik felt the urge to trust him immediately. "Sheik, it's nice to meet you too." Sheik, Ike, and Zelda talked a while longer before guiding Sheik up to his own bedroom, leaving Link all by himself.

Palutena walked up to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, using her other hand to pat his head. He was so confused. "Poor little Link, I am so sorry you have to suffer this way."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Shhhhh," Palutena said, pressing her finger on his lips, which he smacked away. "You poor, poor soul."

"You are insane."

"No, I am merely doing my duties as the goddess of light."

"And that would be?"

"Easing broken souls."

"Yep, you're insane."

"Rude."