Ripoff

Makeup

Link was laying around on the couch, being a lazy little shit and playing some Mario Kart, letting his feet rest on Zelda's lap. He lost once again on 200 cc and tossed the switch away, probably breaking it. Zelda shot him a glare and he stuck out his tongue. She twisted his toe the wrong way on purpose and he quickly apologized.

"What's with me and getting physically abused?" Link asked.

"Because you're an ass," Zelda said, going back to reading.

"Wow thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I was being sarcastic."

"I know."

"Why are you being so mean?"

"Are you really gonna ask that?"

"I respectfully take it back."

"Good choice."

"... want some hot chocolate?"

"I'd appreciate it."

"One hot cup of chocolate with a lot of whipped cream coming up."

"You know me so well."

Link got up with a groan and walked to the kitchen, taking a packet of hot chocolate and dumping it into a cup of hot milk, mixing it, then putting a whole lot of whipped cream on top. He got himself a granola bar and walked back tot he couch, handing Zelda her drink.

"Thank you," she said.

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed. He picked up the switch again and opened up FE Warriors. He started the game and died immidiately. He got serious.

"Did you do you're laundry?"

"No."

"Marth is gonna kill you."

"He's a noodle, he can't do shit."

"You just angered someone."

"Who?"

"Mom."

"Mom?"

"You realize Peach is calling you right?"

"Shit." 

Link yeeted off the couch and ran upstairs to safe his life. He knocked on Peach's door, and waited. And waited. And waited. ...

"Zelda are you trolling me?" He yelled.

"Yes," Zelda said, a snicker following that. Link groaned and was about to go back downstairs, before he got pulled in. 

Link was faced with the devil itself. Peach was holding a brush on one hand, and a bottle of foundation on the other. She smiled.

"Let me do your make up," she stated.

"No, fuck you," he turned around  and reached for the doorknob as quickly as he could, but Peach was faster. 

A brush flew past him, sticking to the wall right next to his face. He slowly turned around, and was greeted by satan.

"You dare disobey your mother," Peach hissed out, slowly stomping her way to him.

"You're not my mom," Link said.

"I am your mom."

"You're not. my. mom."

"Yes I am."

"You are literally younger than me."

"I'm still your mom."

"You are not."

Peach grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her eye level. Her smile said I'm gonna bake you cake while her eyes said you're about to have the worst death of your lives mothafucka.

"Listen here you fucking bitch, you either let me do makeup on you or you don't get any cake for your birthday," Peach said. 

Link gasped, dramatically putting his hand on his chest. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh I would, so don't test me," Peach said. She let him go, slightly shoving him. "Now please, take a seat at the couch downstairs. Me and the girls will be ready in a bit."

"Wait what," he said.

"Did'ya really think I'd make you the only one? Nah bro it's all the boys," Peach said.

"That's... yay?" Link said.

"Go."

"Okay."

And so, the drag show begins.