Best kept secret | Spencer Reid

Can you talk to me? Please?

A V E R I E ' S   P O V

Numb.

I feel numb.

I've been sitting in the exact same position for hours now, staring blankly at the wall. I can't close my eyes without seeing the look of complete devastation on Spencer's face when I told him I don't want to be with him anymore.

I stayed with him until he cried himself to sleep and it took everything in me to walk out that door. Knowing I caused that hurt he's feeling right now is killing me inside.

While I was at Spencer's, the team swept my place for bugs and cleared out all of the photos that were taped to my walls. They said that there was no sign of forced entry so whoever did this had a key.

They had someone stay outside my apartment all night, Anderson, I think they said his name was.

But I still jump when I hear a knock on my door, tip toeing over to look through the peep hole. Relief washes over me when I see Derek and Penelope standing outside, opening the door up and letting them inside.

"Hey," I clear my throat when my voice comes out raspy, not having said a word all night.

Penelope's eyes soften, pulling me into her arms. "How are you, sweetie?"

I manage a small smile, "Fine, thank you."

Derek doesn't even ask, he knows I can't talk about it. I was a mess when I got back to his car after leaving Spencer's place. And he didn't want to leave me alone last night, but I told him to go home and get some rest. The clearer his mind is, the faster we can get this all over with.

"The rest of the team are coming here, we can't risk being at the office.."

I nod, not letting Derek finish his sentence.

Because Spencer could show up at the office.

Shortly after JJ and Emily arrive, followed soon by Hotch and Rossi.

And before I know it, my living room is filled with papers, boards and files.

I have no idea what any of it means, I feel so out of place. The team is discussing theories and motives and I just nod along. I only chime in where I feel something could be useful or if they ask me a question.

I don't know how to do this.

This is all like a foreign language to me.

I wish Spencer was here.

He would whisper translate for me.

-

Hotch stands, walking over to the whiteboard where there's a map, pins in all the locations photos of Spencer and I were taken.

"Penelope," He addresses when he turns. "Did you find anything with the background checks on Alex, Kate and Mia?"

Penelope pushes her glass up on her nose, fingers typing on her keyboard.

"Nothing at all on Alex."

Not surprising.

"Kate's father is in prison but other than that, clean as a whistle."

She's never mentioned that.

"Mia was arrested for public intoxication three times in her freshman year of college."

I internally roll my eyes, of course she was.

"Guys," Emily sighs. "I think we need to look at this from a different angle."