Best kept secret | Spencer Reid

Goddammit, Anderson

S P E N C E R ' S   P O V

Three days.

A whole three days have passed without a single word from Averie.

From spending practically every single day together for the past almost year, or at least talking on the phone when I was away on cases, to nothing. 

No calls, no texts, nothing.

There's something pawing at the back of my mind since that night, telling me something isn't right here, but I think I'm too heartbroken to put my finger on it.

I even tried to go to her apartment, but she wouldn't talk to me. I just want to know what I did, and how I can fix it.

Because I'll do anything.

But all I'm left with is a ring in my pocket that should be on her finger.

I've been avoiding everyone at work, or everyone's been avoiding me, I can't really tell.

After JJ came over to my place to talk to me, I'm sure she told the team what happened and that's why they're keeping their distance. None of them have pushed me to talk about it, and I'm glad.

For the most part I've been immersing myself in paperwork, trying to focus on anything other than what happened a few days ago because I'm going to drive myself crazy if I keep replaying it in my head.

But today we've been called in on a case. We're all sitting around the round table, waiting for Garcia to present.

My mind isn't even here, staring blankly out the window. And I barely even register when someone walks into the room.

"Hotch," The voice rushes, taking a deep breath. "She's gone."

I lift my head at the voice, It's Anderson.

Everyone at the table gasps, and my brows crease when I turn my attention to them. Then suddenly all the eyes in the room dart to me.

"Who?" I ask but no one answers me, all sharing a look between each other.

Morgan hangs his head, placing his hand on my shoulder and squeezing. My eyebrows raise, following his movements with my eyes.

"Anderson," Hotch deadpans, getting up from his seat. "What do you mean she's gone?"

I look up at the same time Anderson's wide eyes meet mine, staring at me when he continues. "I wasn't watching her for two minutes and—"

Morgan stands, whacking his water bottle off the table. "Goddammit, Anderson."

Penelope gasps again and I swear I see a tear rolling down her cheek. Emily brings one hand to her temple, closing her eyes, her knee bouncing nervously under the table. JJ blows out a breath, her expression shows she's willing herself not to cry. Rossi, well Rossi's eyes give away any of his moods, and right now he looks like he could kill someone. Hotch hasn't taken his eyes, which are now daggers, off Anderson the whole time.

And me? Confused.

"Who is gone?" I repeat, getting up from my seat. I stalk towards Anderson, keeping my eyes locked with his.

Anderson gulps when I come to a stop in front of him, waiting for him to speak up. He looks over my shoulder at the team, pleading eyes asking one of them to say something.

"Don't look at them," I deadpan. "Look at me."

He gulps again, still staying silent and my jaw clenches, that suspicion in the back of my mind creeping up again.