Sunsets and city lights with you

Twenty Eight

Jam's POV

When you come to think of it, humans are very interesting. They have their own unique qualities that makes them who they are.  Yung iba magaling sa sports, matalino, passionate, kind hearted and many more. Pag may nakilala kang bago, hindi mo naman mahuhulaan agad sino sya or paano sya mag isip kasi iba takbo ng utak ng bawat isa, pero kung manghuhula ka or my super mind powers ka, edi congrats pwede ka na mag tayo ng business sa quiapo. Pero despite all of that, may similarities pa rin tayo. Each and everyone has a story to tell, a past they don't want to come back to, a future they're too scared to look into and a present we all try to live in the fullest. Tama sila na life is indeed unfair, but somehow, it is actually fair cause it is unfair to everyone. Kaya nga as I've said before, humans are very interesting but being one is hard.

My life is an open book. Lahat ng gusto mo malaman sakin sasabihin ko sayo. I'm very open about the things most people are not comfortable sharing with. I'm the type of person who's not afraid to speak about the things na normally, people choose to keep to themselves.

But we all have our own secrets.
Secrets we don't say out loud.
Secrets that are kept for personal reasons.

Don't try to tell me na ni minsan sa buhay mo wala kang tinago. Kahit gaano pa yan kalaki or kaliit, secrets are secrets.  Na sa bawat pahina ng libro ng buhay mo na pinapabasa mo sa iba, aminin mo na may mga pahina ka na para sayo lang. Mga pahina na ikaw at ikaw lang ang nakaka alam. Mga pahina na mas mabuti na sarilinin na lang

At ang pahina na yon sa buhay ko...

Ay si Poch.

Yes, we're dating since sophomore year. Nag uusap lang naman kami before pero wala eh, na attach ako. I asked him to keep it a secret from everyone kaya up until now, wala talagang nakaka alam. Hindi kami nahahalata kasi ever since naman close na talaga kami ni Poch. The main reason I asked our relationship to be a secret kasi ayoko umabot sa point na pag hindi nag work yung relationship namin, madamay yung band. They're like a family to me and I will do anything wag lang masira yun. I know I tend to overthink everything pero I just don't want to risk it. Ilang beses ko na rin inisip na tumigil na lang kami kasi there are times na it's taking a toll on our relationship, kasi to be honest, emotional wrecking sya. May mga times kasi na may mga inaasar sa kanya or pag may nagkakagusto sa kanya, hindi mo pwede ipagdamot kasi hindi naman nila alam na sa kanya ka na. Poch agreed naman to keep our relationship hidden pero I know he wants to tell everyone. I guess he just loves me that much to respect my decision lalo na nag promise sya.

Sana lang talaga tumagal hanggang dulo.

"Uy Jam" kalabit sakin ni Poch
"Mhhm?"
"Wanna play beer pong? Partner tayo. Talunin natin sila Sandra" Poch
"Okay lika G"

Pinuntahan namin sila Sandra sa may living area

"Ano ba meron bakit ba mga by partner yung suot nyo ngayon?" Sandra
"Wala nagkataon lang yan"
"Duda ako" Sandra
"Seryoso nga sus laro na lang tayo beer pong"

Sakto namang dumating galing kitchen si Pat and Agnes. Pero parang parehas silang madaming iniisip.

"Pat! Agnes! Wanna play?" Poch

Nag tinginan muna silang dalawa bago tumango.

"Ako lang ba nakakapansin na parang matamlay silang dalawa?"
"Baka dahil dun sa kanina" Poch

"Sakto by partners daw. Agnes pwede ka ba maging partner?" Sandra

"Uhm. Sure" Agnes

"What? Pumayag sya? There's something wrong talaga between Pat and Agnes" Poch

"Okay Jam ikaw partner ko" Sabay hila sakin ni Pat. Hay plano pa naman namin ni Poch na kaming dalawa.

"Hoy Lasaten kakampi ko yan dapat bakit mo inagaw" Poch
"Damot mo naman sayo ba tong si Jam?" Pat

Oo Pat, sa kanya ako.

"Fine kayo na lang. Sana matalo kayo" Poch

"Tampo ka naman agad Poch sayo pa rin naman ako uuwi" minsan talaga dinadaan na lang namin sa biro.

"Hay ako lang to. Pero sige go JamTricia!" Poch

Unang bato ni Sandra shoot agad. Nagulat ako kasi hinug nya si Agnes. House and lot ba prize neto? Tinitignan ko si Agnes and hindi ko mabasa facial expression nya. Para syang lutang. Pero etong kakampi ko halatang halata yung mukha sa inis.

After inumin ni Pat yung cup, bumulong sya sakin

"Pwede ba diretso ko na lang sa mukha ni Sandra yung ping pong ball?" Pat

Sa totoo lang alam ko namang nag bibiro lang sya pero parang iba aura ni Pat ngayon. Nag seselos ba to? This is interesting

Shot after shot after shot, we are down sa last cup. Medyo tipsy na nga ako kasi grabe halos kalahati yung laman nung mga baso. Kita ko namang parang tipsy na rin sila Pat and Agnes

"Yesss na shoot wooooh! Drink up!" Sandra and Agnes won the game. My vision is getting blurry na since di ako sanay uminom pero I'm pretty sure they niyakap nanaman ni Sandra si Agnes

"Kainis" bulong ni Pat sabay walkout

"Ganyan ba talaga kaibigan nyo kapag natatalo?" Sandra

"Hindi lang ata sa beer pong natalo tong si Pat" bulong ni Poch sa akin

After that, nag ikot ikot kami ni Poch sa bahay ni Sandra. Medyo tipsy na nga ako kaya inaalalayan na nya ako papunta sa balcony nila Sandra. I need fresh air kasi and masyado na ako naiingayan sa music sa baba.

"Beer pong pa more di ka naman sanay uminom" asar ni Poch
"Hoy ikaw nag aya mag laro nun so technically, kasalanan mo to"
"I'm not the one who got beaten. Parehas pa kayo ni Patty di marunong mag shoot ng ping pong ball"
"Okay lang naman kasi shoot na shoot ka naman sa puso ko" I saw him smiling.
"Yuck ang corny mo Jam"
"Asus corny pero naka ngiti ka? Sinong niloko mo" he laughed.

There was a moment of silence. We were both enjoying the scenery sa balcony. You can only hear the soft music playing downstairs and the sound of wind blowing through the trees.

"I missed you." Poch broke the silence. "We rarely go on dates and it's hard to have an alone time with you." I looked at him and I saw the sadness in his eyes. I have a feeling what's about to come next

"Jam, hindi pa ba talaga pwede?"
"Poch...."

Ayoko pa talaga, hindi naman dahil sa hindi ko sya mahal. Sadyang hindi lang talaga ako ready.

"I'm sure they'll understand our relationship, Jam.  Mag tatampo lang siguro sila kasi tinago natin pero they'll forgive us I swear."

"Hindi lang naman yun eh, you know naman my reason diba, Poch? I thought yo-"

"No, I know and Yes, I understand." He smiled weakly  "I'm sorry for bringing it up. I guess I just hoped a little too much na today's finally the day na ready ka na but I guess not"

"I'm sorry. Ang hirap lang kasi talaga" I looked down. I've been consistently letting him down whenever he asks that question and it hurts me every time. He held my chin and lifted it up. "Hey, it's okay. I love you still, always have and always will. We'll make this work okay?"

He hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you, Poch"
"Anytime, my love."