blue lights || bokuaka

the heart of the universe is you

It's Sunday night.

Despite spending the entire day with Bokuto, Akaashi was most excited to spend nightfall with him, hoping the sun would fall and kiss the moon on her way out quickly.

Watching the stars had always been one of those things that were so close, yet Akaashi never got around to doing them.

He'd only ever see it in coming of age movies, where they'd ride their bikes down an empty street at sunset, away from all the things that made their hearts twist, and watch the stars at night while talking about the stupid teenage things that stopped mattering when they get older. It always seemed like the end of the world to them back then.

Often, Akaashi wished he would have done those things, just for the experience. He and Kuroo got busier in high school and could barely find time for themselves, much less each other.

And in that time, he would also wish that he never got older, either.

But Bokuto made him feel okay with growing up, even better to know he could still do those same things he wished he would have done with him by his side.

"That star is purple!" Bokuto points above them and focuses his interest in a star that was glimmering in violets, pulsating as if the heart of the universe truly was before them.

It beats slow and steady and hopeful, a faint and benign light kissing over Bokuto's face within the shadows.

"Yeah. It's pretty." Akaashi says, lifting his head up a bit so he could readjust his neck, before pressing against Bokuto's good shoulder again.

He breathes even, easy. There is a faint scent of the detergent Akaashi uses for his clothes from Bokuto and leftover rain hid within the grass by the parking lot, sweeping autumn into their lungs and Akaashi tries not to react to the familiar scent of himself on someone else.

Akaashi is okay.

"Are we gonna see any constellations?" Akaashi asks, and Bokuto shakes his head.

"No. Just baby stars," Bokuto says, voice soft as if to not wake the night. "But it's still pretty cool!"

"It is," Akaashi tells him, turning his cheek inward a little and flicking his eyes to the moon. "Thanks for bringing me out here."

"Oh, sure!" Bokuto says, his voice falling to a mild gradient that Akaashi thinks fits perfectly with the delicate nighttime. "...Thank you for coming with me."

"I wouldn't miss it," Akaashi says, and they fall into a silence that Akaashi normally would hate to be stuck in, especially with someone like Bokuto.

But he didn't mind.

In the few days that they've been so close like this, to where it almost felt routine, Akaashi can't help but feel safer with him. To think, from the very beginning, that an illegal street racer would prove time and time again to be something so stable and secure in Akaashi's life...

...It would have made him recoil.

It would have made him irritated and resentful to know that someone like Bokuto Koutarou would quickly become his favorite person in the world to talk to, to look at, to think about once the sun had come up and the stars were replaced with their dreams.

Bokuto loved everything and everyone, and Akaashi found it hard to challenge it. Especially now, as he was watching the stars paint Bokuto in soft greens and pretty lights, as his eyes glowed with the moon and he smiled like starshine.

He could feel it eluding his heart with every fascinated sigh and smile.

Love, huh?

Hm.

"...You remind me of the stars a lot," Bokuto says, and Akaashi hums. "Like that purple one."

Akaashi looks up at him from his shoulder, except his eyes were transfixed on the purple star and Akaashi knows his mind is going to run again.

He tries to keep up with it this time.

"They're always there for you, you know? Like...even when the night is clear, there's always at least one star. I've always liked them since I was a kid."

"You would go watch the stars?"

Bokuto nods.

"Growing up, me and Koutone and Kouemi were each other's best friends. We were all we had. Our parents worked really hard and were never home, and sometimes friends just leave you. But never left each other, you know? We would go watch the stars when one of us had a bad day, and it would work! It was usually me..." Bokuto breathes out a giggle and Akaashi smiles.

"That's cute." He says, missing the mellow flush on Bokuto's cheeks. "Do you still have bad days?"

"Not as much, no," Bokuto says, tightening his grip around Akaashi's shoulders and the other feels his heart escape him, feeling it float above the purple star and get lost in the stratosphere.

Losing it again, because of Bokuto.

"Watching them now kinda reminds me of them, and...my life before I started racing."

Akaashi's eyebrows come together. "Do you miss it?"

"I miss my sisters, but that's it. I wouldn't trade racing for anything. They moved away to study, but...the stars remind me of home. Like I'm still with them, kind of. And I wouldn't have met you if I stayed, anyway. I feel a lot better watching them with you."

"I'm glad." Akaashi looks at his hand resting on Bokuto's stomach and gently taps his pointer finger, thinking. "I feel a lot better with you, too...so...thanks."

Akaashi feels stupid for saying something so lame, but it pays off when Bokuto smiles that same makeshift sunshine, letting out a noise of surprise.

"Akaashi..." Bokuto pulls back and leans up to face him as best as he could from beneath him, and Akaashi follows, leaning up so that they were both sitting, suddenly nervous. Bokuto looks at his mouth and Akaashi ignores it. "Do you mean it?"

Bokuto's grin grows when Akaashi looks away and nods, not daring to make eye contact with him.

"Yeah."

His heart feels like it is going to burst, and Bokuto leans forward to wrap his arms around Akaashi's shoulders, his eyes shut and he's so blissful it makes Akaashi want to remind him every day how happy he makes him if he would smile like that every time.

He thinks Bokuto doesn't hear it enough, as he brings his own arms up to hold onto his waist, ignoring the itch of the braces around his ribs.

"Daisy! Thank you!" Bokuto pulls back and Akaashi can't help but grin in return.

"Yeah, yeah..." Akaashi feels his demeanor run thin, the only thing on his mind is the boy beside him and the stars above him. "Let's lay down again. You're a good pillow."

Bokuto hums with a smile and Akaashi let his nerves trickle out of his fingers as he taps his forefinger on Bokuto's stomach again, trying to feel out for any butterfly wings. Akaashi was pretty sure Bokuto had some in there whenever they were together, some that tried to escape and perch on his shoulders, too, but the uncertainty makes him uncomfortable.

The moon encourages him with a soft white smile, but he ignores her.

Just for tonight.