A Life Without The Sun

Samsara

"T-Tobi..."

That soft whisper had become all too familiar to Kageyama. It was a meek but pained sound that he didn't think he would ever have to hear.

As soon as he heard it, he leapt up from his chair and went straight to Hinata's side.

"Don't call me that, dummy. What's up?" Kageyama said quietly but in a sweet tone so he knew he was joking. He gently moved a couple of stray hairs from his damp forehead and placed them back to their original position.

It took all his energy to speak at this point. Clinging to the side of the bed, he pushed himself upwards, eyes squeezed tight as every movement he made wrecked his entire body.

"C-can we...go st-stargazing?"

Kageyama's eyes narrowed at the absurdity of the question. Stargazing? Of all the requests he could ask of him, why this?

"Huh? Where did that come from?" He chuckled slightly, but when he looked at Hinata's face, he could tell straight away that he was deadly serious.

"Please?"

"If you're allowed to go out, yes. The most we might be able to go is the hospital courtyard, if you're allow-"

"T-Tobi. They wo-won't let m-me out, l-l-look at me." He interrupted, a slight grin slowly appearing on his face.

Kageyama did look at him. And he was right. Hinata was merely skin and bones. Some days, Kageyama swore his skin was translucent, and often attempted to count how many veins he could spot on his arms and legs, due to them being so visible.

"I-I meant more...we tu-turn off the l-lights and just..." He had to stop to take a couple of deep puffs in and out, and as he steadied his breathing again, he felt a hand grip his own.

"Watch?" Kageyama finished. Hinata's grin turned into a full on smile. It was the first time Kageyama had seen it in weeks, and it made his heart flutter. Finally, he could make out Hinata's glow once more.

-

They waited until the sky above was completely black.

Kageyama dragged the huge armchair from the corner of the room to the windowsill, adjusting its position so it was just right. He then proceeded to turn off the lights, using the flashlight on his phone to guide him around the room for the time being.

"Right, let's get you on this chair then."

"Actually, I-I was won-wondering i-if...you could s-it with me."

Kageyama didn't need to be asked twice. Carefully, he hoisted Hinata up from the position he was in on his bed so he was now standing. He had attempted to walk to the chair himself, but his legs almost immediately buckled due to muscle wastage. Kageyama caught him at his hip and wrapped his arms around him, acting as Hinata's human crutch.

The journey to the chair took longer than normal - a 10 second journey turned into a minutes journey due to Hinata's utter exhaustion.

Kageyama was first to sit down, followed by Hinata, who perched on his friends lap and leant back onto his chest. He listened to the strong beat of his heart and felt the irregular ebb of his own.
At least Kageyama was healthy.

With a tap, Kageyama switched off the torch on his phone and lay it on the arm of the chair. He looked out the window and was met with the most spectacular sight he had ever seen in his life.

The black sky was dotted with hundreds of bright lights, like tiny spotlights. They twinkled and sparkled, almost as if they were each signalling something to them in morse code. Rippled across the inky abyss above were flashes of deep purple and blue. It looked like an intricate watercolour painting, and Kageyama was entranced.

Glancing down at Hinata, he saw every single star reflected in his eyes. Each flit of every star, each glint of the whirling galaxies before them was emulated in Hinata's widened pupils.

"Do you believe in an afterlife, Sho?" Kageyama asked without thinking about it too much.

Hinata swallowed, a signal that he was deep in thought, but didn't take his eyes off the exquisite display in front of them.
"I'm n-not sure. I th-think s-so.."

"Before my grandad passed, he told me that he thought that when we died, we came back as something we love the most. He would always joke that he would come back as a bottle of beer. But I knew what he loved most in the world. When he did die, the Sakura tree in our garden started to blossom again, after 3 years of it being sparse." He chuckled sadly to himself, still looking down at Hinata and stroking the back of his neck with his thumb.

"I-I'll co-come back...as a-a star. J-just you wa-wait Tobi. I-I'll be the-the br-brightest star up th-there." Hinata exclaimed, pointing weakly to the sky and smiling so tenderly, Kageyama thought he might melt.

'That's right,' Kageyama thought to himself, 'not even death could stop your glow.'