A Gods' Holiday ~ Sanders Sides AU

Secrets Spilt

Jack was prodding him rather intently. It was very offputting. Thomas wasn't sure if he was allowed to move.

After losing at Snakes And Ladders, chess and Monopoly, Jack had resorted to poking Thomas in order to re-establish his authority and it was starting to get painful.

"Uhm, excuse me," Thomas said. "You're starting to hurt my shoulder."

"But I'm not done authorizing yet."

"Yes, but it does hurt."

"Can I poke you with a toothpick?"

"I... think that would hurt more."

Jack sagged. "Hmm... Shame. But I still feel undermined."

Thomas blinked. "Not trying to undermine you, here, but I feel like I remember you being... less crazy."

Jack laughed. "No, I was trying to impress Mister Ghost. He's far too serious. Then I found he was too serious and I thought I'd be, like, the Robin to his Batman and lighten up the energy. Good guys are always so boring when they're not funny."

Thomas stiffened. "You think you're the good guys?"

There was a moment of silence. Jack stood up. "Do you think we're not?"

"Well, you have me strapped to a chair, so, yes."

Jack frowned. "We're trying to keep the world safe. If your alien-god-friends were allowed to run around freely, a war could start and they'd be used as weapons. Everyone would be fighting everyone. Remember how the last world wars went?"

Thomas hesitated. "But they're not really running around freely. They just want to get home again."

"They've been seen by too many people. One of your friends was infected. What if that were to happen again?"

"That was Joan being Joan! No one made them taste Virgil's blood!"

Jack hesitated too and, for a moment, Thomas thought he had convinced him of something. Then Jack tightened his bonds, with a thoughtful face. "If your Joan was able to taste a god's blood, that means they can be hurt," He said and Thomas paled. Jack looked at him and smiled. "You'll stay here, right?"

"No, no, please, you can't hurt them!" Thomas urged, struggling vainly. "Please, they- they're just kids! They're basically children, you can't hurt children, please!"

Jack finished tightening the restraints. "We won't kill them, trust me. We're still the good guys. But we need to restrain them. At least, for now. You understand, right?"

"Please, you can't do this!" Thomas begged, trying to kick. "I didn't mean to say that, please, don't do this!"

"You're talking too much, now," Jack sighed. "I'll have to gag you."

Thomas tried to scream but it was muffled when a gag went over his mouth. Jack strapped his head in too, using a belt across his forehead. Then he turned to glare at the guards. "Keep an eye on him. Hurt the gods if they try to rescue him but don't kill anyone. Passive-aggressive hurting, got it?"

"Yes, Agent Pierce." They chorused.

Jack looked back at Thomas and smiled. "You've been lovely company, buckeroo, but I've got to go find Mister Ghost now. Colin will be missing me and Mister Ghost is certainly missing out on this information. Sleep tight."

Thomas kept screaming but Jack left the room. The guards surrounded him and his screaming went unchecked afterwards.

.:*:.

Agent Ghost sat opposite the octopus-toy-thing, looking at it with a frown.

Originally, he had thought to dump it in the bin but Jack would've probably cried and he didn't really need to see a grown man cry. That was just a little... upsetting. It was probably better to leave him all happy and such. Happiness was a god thing to have, even if Jack seemed to have a little too much of it. Well, Pierce wasn't crazy, so at least there was that.

"Mister Ghost, I have done the sequel!"

Okay, so he was a little odd...

Agent Ghost turned around. "And what do you know?"

Jack sat down opposite him, picking up Colin and kissing the octopus on the head before trying to balance it on his shoulder. Ghost waited about a minute before losing patience.

"Pierce," He said sternly, making Jack jump and face him, leaving Colin alone. "What do we know about the aliens?"

Jack grinned. "Ooh, that's the first thing. Apparently, they're not aliens. They're 'gods', from Olympus. It actually makes sense when you look at their attitudes, appearance and such."

Ghost frowned, thinking it over. "And the plant monster?"

"A normal citizen, actually. Tried some blood from the child of Hades and Persephone and got infected."

"And the other 'gods?"

"Son of Zeus, son of Athena and son of Aphrodite and Ares. Then three mortals are travelling with them."

Ghost hummed. "Interesting. Anything else?"

Jack smiled. "A mortal tried the blood of one of our gods."

"So you've said." Ghost glared. "Is this all you have?"

"To bleed, what must've happened?"

Ghost's eyes widened as it dawned on him. "Usually, you've been injured."

"And if the god has been injured?"

"We can fight them." Ghost stood up, smiling triumphantly. "Then, we can sort out all of this business."

Jack stood up too. "Then we get a prequel?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Yes!" Jack punched the air, knocking Colin off his shoulder. He caught the toy, kissed Agent Ghost's cheek and ran off, cheering about prequels.

Ghost blinked and stared after him. "Yep," He muttered, heat rising to his face. "Definitely mad."

Did I just make everyone's ship slightly canon, despite saying I wouldn't? Yes. Yes, I did.