Possession

The Illogical Ideal

A plan had been devised, taking much longer than it should've due to the trickery and frenzy of the boys. Perhaps now you understood why Natasha rarely tolerated your jokes. With that, they walked you to your parked bike, Steve patting your back and complimenting your ride. Clint shook your hand and warned you against hurting Natasha. He joked about killing you if you did, or at least you hoped it was satire. Sam embraced you in a tight hug, insisting that you take him out on the bike one day. He also emphasised the fact that you most definitely preferred him over Steve, to which you replied "No comment".

You'd spent much more time at the club than you'd hoped, checking your phone as you stepped of your bike back at the compound. Wanda had littered your notifications with texts, which now had no significance as she greeted you in the entrance. She came off cold initially, most definitely due to your absence in bed that morning. You ignored this until you noticed Tony and Pepper rounding the corner at the end of the hallway, hand in hand. You took Wanda in your arms, holding her tight and kissing her forehead, apologising for your behaviour and promising her that you'd make it up to her that night. She warmed up to you, which drew out a sickly feeling in your stomach. You could not continue lying to her.

"Get a room."
Your father joked as he moved past you, Pepper rolling her eyes as she followed. Once they had passed, Wanda informed you that she'd be out today and would meet you at home. You assured her that it was alright, complaining a little falsely in order to pretend that you cared. You were just glad it wasn't you running off this time.
You tried your hardest not to rush her out, counting down the minutes until you saw Natasha. As soon as you'd waved Wanda off, you returned inside, walking in an embarrassing half-jog to Maria's office.

"Everyone done with Natasha today ?"
You questioned her as nonchalantly as possible, leaning against the doorframe as she packed up her things.
"Yup. No one's been down in hours. Its getting late though, you not going home ?"
You nodded, letting her walk past before moving from the frame.
"Yep. Just checking."
You shared a smile with her before going separate ways.

You retraced your usual route to the cellar, this time planning to lock the door in order to avoid interruption. As you approached the heavy metal entrance, you pushed the key into it's lock - only to notice that it had been left undone. Immediately, you were overtaken by suspicion, slowly pulling it open and walking through. At the end of the hallway, the door to Natasha's cell was left strewn, just like the entrance. You rushed towards it and looked inside.

The cell was empty.

You stood, bewildered in the space between the hall and lock-up - not because she'd escaped, but because a part of you never really wanted her to leave. Without her, you were alone again.
You sauntered towards her bed, noticing a small off-white slip tucked beneath the sunken pillow. Taking it between you fingers, you felt as if you already knew what it could be. The paper had print on it, torn from a book, which made the actual words written atop obscured and more difficult to make out.

I hope this finds you first, my love. Otherwise I might get you in a little trouble.

You sat on her bed, resting your back against the wall as you continued on, the familiar pit of abandonment growing in your stomach as the words drifted from the sheet.

Bucky came for me. He told me you visited them, which was sweet - but utterly reckless. I just hope that Clint hasn't murdered you yet.
You giggled, shaking your head as you recall his civility.

I'm sorry it has to be this way- life is cruel to us. Perhaps in another we are together, living the one we wish for here. However, we both know that is not possible. I hope you can continue your days without me. Be with Wanda, how it was intended. Forget about me and I'll find you some place else. Our fun is over, darling. Usually, I'd ask when I'll see you again, but I hope - for your sake- that I don't.

Your hand goes limp as the note drifts a little to the side. With every breath you take, you become a little more accepting of the fact that this had come to an end. The cat and mouse game that was your relationship with Natasha turned out to be the closest you'd ever come to finding someone you envisioned a future with - that was over now. You didn't blame her, nor did you blame yourself. Or anyone for that matter. Like she had said, in another life, perhaps things are different - the perfect paradox.