WITH LOVE / XIAOVEN

nineteen.

authors note: HEYYYYY 

ok so first off, very sorry for the angst recently but hey double update!!! AND THERES SOME FLUFF???? :O um but thank u guys so much for 10k reads holy shit??? thats so much??? 

anyways hows school been for u guys? bc i think its started... IDK IM NOT IN SCHOOL ANYMORE AND I KNOW I COULDNT HANDLE COLLEGE SO IM NOT IN COLLEGE LMFAOO #unemployedlyfe 

um but i recently made a xiaoven playlist so if u want to listen, my user is babyhater w/ a tori himemiya pfp!! thoze r the songs i listen while writing this + mitski so if u want to, you can go listen!! ANYWAYS ENJOY I"LL STOP TALKING LMAOO

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hu tao frowns as she looks to venti- he looks so exhausted and tired, she'd never seen him like this. hu tao sits down on the couch slowly as she examines his face. dark eyebags are set under his eyes and his appearance is overall well, depressing.

"it didn't go well, i assume?" hu tao asks as venti leans over to rest his head on his shoulder. venti sighs as hu tao strokes venti's thumb with her own, "not at all. xiao terminated his contract and he stormed out because zhongli said he wasn't well enough to continue being an idol and now i have no idea where he is at."

"why don't you call him?" hu tao asks as if it were such a simple solution.

"i can't," venti says,"we never exchanged numbers because we are always near each other no matter what, well except for right now."

hu tao sighs, "i'm really sorry. i know how much you both love each other, it's amazing, really."

venti glances over to her with a skeptical look in his eyes as she laughs lightly, "i mean it! i really, really do. you two were always there for each other and i mean, you really helped xiao out a lot, like way more than i've ever seen anyone help him."

venti sighs with a fond smile, "i'm starting to think he never wanted help in the first place."

"really?"

venti nods, "he... he defended his mother during the meeting and the thing is he never seemed unstable during it. he knew what he was doing, it was strange. i mean, he said he always hated what she did but he never talked about her and now he was. he said she was a good person and i don't know, maybe he was right."

hu tao smiles softly as she turns to venti, "you can be upset with what they did and still love them. maybe you don't understand xiao's reasoning but i'm sure he does have a reason, xiao always does. just hear him out if he ever decides to talk about it."

hu tao nods as she looks to the door and then back at venti, "let's get you to bed, alright? i don't think xiao would like you stressing over him this much to the point where you don't sleep."

venti nods sleepily as she leads him to a bed (venti's not sure whose it is, he just really focused on not face planting on the floor in exhaustion). venti soon falls asleep within minutes with the hope that xiao returns soon.

and xiao does.

venti awakes to soft whisperings in the living room that venti is trying his best to decipher in his half conscious state. he can hear whispers of "just go tell him" and a mumble that he can't tell the whole sentence but he can tell a few words from it- "scared" "don't want him to hate me" "trying my best". the talking silences down and only then does the bedroom door creak open. footsteps lean in close to venti and then he is greeted with xiao's face.

"mmh, xiao, hi," venti sleepily mumbles as he puts a soft hand on xiao's cheek. xiao softly chuckles as he ruffles venti's hair, "wake up sleepyhead, it's almost three in the afternoon."

venti shoots up from the sound of the time, "oh my god, what?"

xiao stares at him with confusion over his face as venti pushes the blankets off of him, "what time did you get here?"

"uh, at noon?"

"why didn't you wake me?" venti asks and only then does he notice a suitcase behind xiao.

"oh," he realizes, "you're... you're leaving. right."

venti looks around the room and now he notices how empty it was. the walls are empty on his side, the clothes in the closet are gone and his side is cleared except for his bed where venti was sleeping.

"sorry," xiao says as he sits down on the bed, "for you know, getting upset about the stuff about my mom and leaving and not even bothering to call you or hu tao."

venti nods, "i'm sorry for y'know not even attempting to comfort you about the whole situation with your mom. if you believe she's a good person, then i will too."

xiao smiles softly, "she... she was a good woman before what my dad did to her."

venti must look a certain way because he soon continues, "but now after everything, i don't think she's the same. she's a different person, she's worse. when... when i left, i went to see her and even though i'm still slightly afraid of her, it was good. i always said what i've wanted to say to her."

venti smiles, "that's good um, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to her? you know, that caused her to be like this?"

xiao scratches the back of his neck nervously, "i wasn't supposed to be born, venti. it's harsh but it's the truth. after my older sister indarias was born, that was the last kid my mom wanted. she wanted to be done after that but my dad was so awful to her when she said she didn't want another kid, but you know, he wanted one so bad that he didn't care about her. he ended up you know, raping her and that's how it started."

xiao shakily exhales out as venti slowly rubs his back, "she had no choice on whether or not she wanted to keep the child and her family hated it. they said it was her fault that that happened to her. um, after i was born, my dad didn't magically get nice and sweet- he did other things when she realized she was no longer capable of having children. he would hit my mom, scream at her, he did everything and anything but even then she still tried to make us happy. she was so forgiving and sweet, i loved her."

"what happened to her then?"

"i don't think she could take much more, especially after my eldest brother and father died in the same accident. she ended up hitting most of us well, except me. i wasn't old enough to know what she was doing so i think that's why she did it. and i hate admitting this but i do miss her when she was sweet and forgiving."

venti looks to xiao: "tell me about it then."