⏩ SONG 6 cont.: "Where's Oli?" ⏩

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During this whole time, Jesse and Phil did what Oliver told them; staying behind in their hotel room, as they continued to eat their snacks and watch a seemingly endless marathon of Big Bang Theory episodes (95% of which include Sheldon Cooper saying "Bazinga!" at least once.)

Phil: "Any idea where Oli went?"

Jesse: "I dunno, mate. Why are you asking?"

Phil: "You haven't realized yet that he's been out for quite some time now? Starting to get quite worried for the bloke."

Jesse: "Maybe he's out screaming at some kids that Santa Claus isn't real or whatever."

Phil widened his eyes at him and stopped snacking up.

"Oli would never! His soul is too pure for those kids!"

Jesse: "Phil, come on. If Jingle All the Way taught me anything, it's that Christmas is nothing but a scheme for society to become enslaved by capitalism, as corporations watch their sales skyrocket through their stuff quickly selling out for the holiday season."

The duo stay silent for a brief period of time.

Phil: "You...are a terrible person."

Jesse: "It's not even a good movie, people only love it because it was the 90's. And I miss the 90's."

Phil: "You're almost 23, mate. You've never experienced the 90's."

Jesse: "I was born in '98---that's still the 90's, dumbass."

Phil grew scared, dropping his snacks and raising his voice.

Phil: "Seriously, where'd Oli go?! He's been out for more than two hours already."

Jesse: "Hang on. Didn't Oliver say he wanted to see some school idols here?"

"And what about...oh shit."

Phil and Jesse rush out of their room and onto the streets to search for Oliver, with barely any success. No matter how many times they shout "Oli!" or how loud they scream it, the only people hearing their cries are New Yorkers telling them to keep their mouths shut.

"Damn...no sign of him." Phil sighed in disappointment.

Jesse: "Maybe he left us behind to see those girls without even telling us."

Phil: "No way! Again, Oli would never! Even if he'd date that famous actress, at least he'd still tell us about it."

Jesse: "I don't even remember her all that much, honestly. Was she in that Rascals movie?"

Jesse's last few words gave Phil an idea. "Wait!" The latter yelled as he raised his index finger in the air. "Did you say...movie?"

Jesse: "Yeah, why?"

Phil: "Do we...still have his number?"

Jesse: "No, Phil. No. Don't do it. What if he's busy shooting a movie?"

Phil: "He's shooting a new movie here, remember?"

Jesse: "What a coincidence."

Phil slowly grew a determined smile on his face. With Oliver away from them and with a group of young school idols, he knew the right person to call for the job; legendary romantic comedy actor and Oliver's mentor, Hugh Grant. (Note: We said "right" person, not the "perfect" person for the job.)


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