The Hotelier

Pt. 16 - Get Lost!

I walked into Michael's office and my first task was to sort all of his papers, since I was kind of his assistant, but not quite. I had to manage finances, which alone was pretty hard to do with a hotel like this one. More and more tourists are coming in the summer, and I'm very glad I came here to help in the most intensive period: July-September.

I made sure I went through all of his shelves and drawers and sorted out all of the binders, folders, and papers. I was very focused to not mess up somewhere because, to be honest, it was quite a mess in this place.

"What are you doing here?" I suddenly heard behind me and jumped.

I turned red as a tomato and turned around to face him.

"You remember me?"

"Wh- of course, I do!" He exclaimed a bit too quick, and then cleared his throat "Sorry, I... are you the new finance manager?" He began blushing as well and I immediately felt the same spark as two months ago.

"I am. Didn't Chandler tell you?"

"Um. Chandler... yes. Um. I mean, no. He didn't" he started scratching his neck again and I found it cute how nervous he was

At that moment I realized I wasn't angry, nor sad. I was more than happy to meet him again.

But then I noticed something. He had those big, blue circles under his eyes, he was way skinnier than before and his beard was grown long, as well as his hair. It was quite long before, but now it was close to my length. What's going on...?

"Michael? Are you okay?"

"I, um. I think I'm going home..." he said and turned his back to me, but I managed to get his hand in mine.

"Please stay. I want to talk." I begged and he just stayed with his back facing me. Then eventually, he sighed and lowered his head

"Okay, but... can we talk at home?" He asked, sounding a bit sad

"H-home? Your home?" I asked curiously and he nodded, still without turning towards me "Of course." I said and he got a better hold on my hand while he walked me there like a little kid.

He unlocked the door and I was shocked when I saw the inside. He called this home?

He showed me around but... was there something to show, really? Every single room was shattered to pieces. Every single piece of furniture. A thick layer of smoke was floating through the rooms and the strong smell of scotch was filling my nostrils.

What happened to this man?

The only room which was left untouched was the bedroom. Minimal and comfy looking. The walls were beige, and there wasn't any furniture but a bed and two nightstands.

"I'm sorry for the state you see me in," he started "but I really want to clear things out and get to know each other" then he took my hands in his "away from curious eyes" he smiled sadly and I returned it.

He was such a happy man before. Or was it just a mask? I bet he doesn't show his misery to the tourists...

We walked into the bedroom since it was the only place where we can sit.

We were both silent for a while before he spoke up:

"Okay. It's really hard for me to start this. But I want to apologize to you. For everything, really. But mostly for being so distant to you the last days you stayed here..."

"Don't worry, it's okay" I gave him a tiny smile before I continued "it really is, but I just wondered... why?"

And then came the deep sigh. He was even sniffling already...

"I... okay, you know what happened between me and Magdalena. And you and Chandler are the only ones who know." He stated and I was amused by that. "However, I was very miserable after that loss... Loss of two girls I loved more than everything. But I never was as miserable as I am now." He said

"But why?"

"You can't really take the hint, can you? Because I missed you, Cestria! I missed you! And that was why I ignored you the last few days! I was afraid that..." he mumbled something and looked away

"Afraid of what, Michael? I want you to tell me everything, alright?"

He took a deep breath "because I was scared I was going to form feelings for you and won't be able to see you walk away..." he got silent again and I got the urge to hug him. So I did. And he hugged me back

"I was afraid I wouldn't be able to take another loss, Cestria. And I was right. I couldn't... that's why I am like that. I'm sorry, but... I think I..." he started stuttering as he pulled away and looked at me with big, teary eyes.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, got up, and walked out of the room before I could've stopped him.

"Wait, Michael!" I searched for him in every room "Michael! Michael, open the door, we have to talk!" I was quick to realize he was in the bathroom, but he didn't call back. I tried opening it, but the door was locked. So I decided just to wait for him.

And as I waited I wanted to see more than he showed me. I wanted to know him, I wanted to help him... because if I didn't, I would've felt like a part of me is missing.

I walked into something, which I suppose was the living room because there was a broken couch, TV, and a coffee table. I don't know what happened there, but I want to know the reason. Was I the reason?

Just the thought of it made me tear up...

I looked around and there were a bunch of books thrown around the floor. All of them were either historical or political. He was really into these things, huh? So that makes two of us.

I turned to my right and saw a bunch of bottles of scotch. Some of them were broken and the glass was all over the place. I have to clean up here...

I decided to take a closer look at the books because I was interested in his taste since it was quite similar to mine. And when I did I found a videocassette and an old photo. These have to be old

I looked at the photo and noticed the glass was broken. There was even dry blood on the corner. In the photo were a kid and a woman, I suppose Michael and his mother. They looked so happy on it. But where was his father?

"Get your hands off of that!" I heard him shouting with a deep voice.

"Do you hear me?! Put it down!" He shouted once again and I was in complete shock, I felt like I couldn't move. He didn't sound just angry, he sounded mad!

And when I didn't put it down, because I couldn't have processed what he told me, he came with furious steps towards me and his hands in fists.

I was petrified, so I just quickly threw the picture on the floor and tried to run away without getting in his way, but as I tried to run I stepped on one of the books and fell on the glass pieces. But that wasn't what scared me the most. It was him. He looked furious, and I didn't know how I caused it.

He picked me up by the shoulders and got really close to my face, looking me in the eyes. But this time there weren't those gorgeous eyes I remembered. No, instead there were almost black, full with pain and anger eyes, which ripped me apart just with their look

"Don't. Ever. Touch that again. Am I clear?!"

I just nodded, I was afraid to talk

"Don't ever touch without permission. Am. I. Clear?"

"Yes" I whispered and felt the first tears roll down my cheeks

"Now out! Get lost! Get the fuck out of here!" He screamed and I was fast to run out, but I didn't remember the path to the hotel. And now I was in the forest, alone, maybe waiting for some wild animal to eat me alive... but maybe I deserved it. I shouldn't have been in this room at all, looking through his things... I am just a dumb person, and now I'm doing exactly what he told me - I'm getting lost...