when she loved me / clifford

99

its late and i can barely see, these god damn pills are making my head hazy.

i took the entire bottle.

i cant.

i feel sick.

blood dripped onto the paper just now.

god my wrists hurt.

mom, thank you for raising me the way you did, you were the best mother i could have asked for.

calum, god calum im sorry im so sorry i know you didnt want this but i cant be happy with myself anymore and i hope you can move on, get married and have kids, and forget me one day.

babe? i can feel the pills taking over and my wrists are so numb.

my eyes can barely stay open.

before i go, i want you to know one thing.

i love y

( this journal entry was never finished but his mother and the paramedics were able to finish his last sentence : i love you )

---

i am so fucking sorry