when she loved me / clifford

8

people kept quiet today. no one really said a lot to me. all the words just ended up in a jumble of "i'm sorry". lunch was horrible. you know i hate the school food.

i spent it in the library, hiding in the little corner where you used to read lord of the rings. you were such a nerd. besides, we just ended up making out behind the bookshelves in the end.

calum came over after school. he brought luke and ashton too. we are pizza, played video games. i almost forgot about all the bad in the world for a while.

then something happened.

this is going to sound odd, but calum laughed. only, it wasn't a laugh. it was this giggle that sent me back to your birthday and how we drank three bottles of vodka and sucked the sour out of lemons on the roof of your dad's car, in the middle of nowhere with the headlights shown out on some lake. and how the mixture of liquor and smoke from cigarets made you giggle. god, how much you giggled that night.

after they left i sat in the shower, under the hot water wanting every drop to wash away the pieces of you still clinging to my skin.

the water might've washed away what your lips felt like on my neck, but it didn't wash away the memories of you still clogging up my brain.

- august 18, 2014