Gambler

GAMBLE 9

"Hey."

Tinapik ko si Dous, nakatingin lang siya sa ibaba.

He's standing near the edge of the rooftop not facing me.

There's a sudden pause when he finally faced my direction. I took a step closer to him to check if I'm seeing things right.

He has bruises and scratches on his face.

Gulat siya pagkakita sa akin, I didn't tell him I'd come.

"Nakipag-away ka? Bakit andami mong pasa?"

Kibit balikat ang sinagot niya sa akin.

Umupo siya sa isang lumang upuan malapit sa pinto papuntang rooftop. Sinenyas na lumapit rin ako.

"No, diyan ka lang sandali may pupuntahan lang ako."

I didn't wait for his response, I immediately walked towards the door.

Bumili ako ng panggamot, ointment saka panlinis sa mga galos niya. Pagkabili ko mabilis rin akong bumalik sa rooftop. Naabutan ko pa rin siyang nakaupo doon, nakataas ang isang paa sa upuan. May lollipop na sa bibig at nakatitig lang sa kawalan.

For awhile I just stood there, not making any noise. I stared at him. The wind was brushing through his hair, making it easier for me to look into his face. From where I'm standing I can clearly see his forehead, his eyebrows that looked calm but his eyes says otherwise.

Ilang segundo ko siyang tinignan bago napagpasiyahan na lapitan siya.

I sat next to him, nakatingin lang siya sa akin habang inilalabas ang bulak at ilang panlinis ng sugat. Hindi naman siya nagreklamo, nag-umpisa akong linisin ang sugat niya habang siya nakatingin lang sa akin.

"Nakaganti ka naman ba?"

"No"

"Why? Napuruhan ka o."

"I can't, he's still my father." Natigilan ako sandali at tinignan siya. Hindi ko akalain na sobrang lapit niya pala sa akin kaya naman mata namin ang nagtagpo.

His father? Why would his father beat him?

Kahit na nagtataka ay pinili ko na lang na hindi magtanong. Ipinagsawalang bahala ko ang pagtataka, umusog ako ng kaunti palayo saka tinuloy ang paglilinis ng sugat niya.

"You can ask me questions." He said.

"Ilang beses na niyang ginawa sayo 'to?"

"I lost count. It started when I was in grade 9 I think."

Napasinghap ako ng kaunti, nakatitig lang siya sa akin na para bang pinanonood ang reaksyon ko sa sinabi niya.

Grade 9 pa. Ibig sabihin kapag nakikita ko siya lagi na pumapasok na may pasa e dahil sa daddy niya yon? Akala ko nakikipagbasag ulo siya.

"But why? Bakit ka niya sinasaktan and why are you letting him hurt you? I know he's your father but that's.. that's too much."

"Woah easy there peach, isa isa lang ang tanong. Malapit ko nang isipin na nag-aalala ka sakin." Nagawa pa niyang matawa.

"Matagal naman nang galit sakin si Daddy, ang lagi niyang sinusumbat sakin tuwing lasing siya ay sinira ko raw ang buhay at pangarap niya. Pangarap niyang maging piloto, pero nabuntis niya si mommy nong last year na niya sa academy kaya pinatigil siya nila lolo and instead business ng family ang naging trabaho niya. Sinisisi niya ako na hanggang ngayon hindi niya nagawang makalipad."

"That's not even your fault."

"Hmm, pasalamat pa rin ako kasi hindi niya ako pinipigilan sa bagay na gustong-gusto kong gawin. He's not against me being in a band."

"Kasi naranasan niya yung hindi maabot yung pangarap?"

"Maybe, yon lang mapagmamalaki ko tungkol sa kaniya. Even Avan and Cyd's parents are against them being in quantum leap."

I just stared at him.

"Ikaw, why are your walls so high, Xochitl?"

Unang beses niyang tinawag ang pangalan ko.

"I have to."

"Enlighten me."

"Kapag binabaan ko mawawala lahat sakin. You know it's hard when you can easily know something. I sometimes wish sana hindi ko na lang rin naiintindihan kaagad yung mga bagay-bagay. I wish hindi ako mabilis makabasa ng tao, I wish i didn't knew much." Mula sa pagkakatitig sa ibang gusali na katabi ng building na kinalalagyan namin ay inilipat ko ulit ang tingin sa kaniya.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko sinasabi sa kaniya 'to, when I didn't even tell the girls about this.

I have this feeling na magkuwento.

Maybe it's the place?

Or is it the vibe?

It feels natural talking to him about my life.

"My parents, matagal na silang hindi okay. They're only staying because of me. Naglolokohan lang kaming lahat sa bahay. Them, acting like a perfect couple in front of me and me acting like I don't know anything, like I don't hear them every night shouting at each other because they can't fix it anymore. Ilang taon na kaming ganito."

"And you never told anyone about this? You have so many people around you who care for you. You have your friends."

"I know, but they're my only escape, happiness. I can't seem to find the need to tell them. Gusto kapag kasama ko sila masaya lang ako, I just want to be free when I'm with them. Kahit doon na lang. Bakit ko ba sinasabi sayo 'to."

"I can understand you. But peach, don't you think it's unfair for them?"

"I know but I can't help it. At least not now."

"I can be your second escape tho. You can tell me what you can't tell them. I'm all ears for you"

"I feel like I'm betraying my friends. Your offer is fucking tempting but dangerous."

"Well you are with Alfred Rush Santillan II. I am danger myself, miss Xochitl. So brace yourself."

*******

A/N

Hi hi!

Anw, nung una talaga di ko gusto 'tong ginawa kong story ni dous, ewan basta feeling ko walang special pero nung ni-reread ko siya after 2 mos ko na inunpublish medj nagustuhan q, na parang iba yung nagsulat.

So now i'm writing this bcuz i wanna read it too, after ko mafinish.

This is very different from the way I write kasi mga female lead ko halos kalog like wren, brandy, and yssa but xochitl is not. Parang hirap isulat ng pov niya but then it feels like exploring, although they are all deep xochitl is a different breed.

Sana talaga mabigyan ko ng justice si Xochitl, i love her pa naman.