Gambler

GAMBLE 56

She's always been someone who's one or two steps ahead of everything, always able to manage difficult things on her own.

But only to these certain moments, or perhaps only with this certain someone Xochitl doesn't know what to do.

A reunion they say, catching up they say. Akala niya matatakasan niya pa itong ganitong pangyayari but here she is, in front of her was Dous.

Isang beses pa niyang tinignan ang paligid, ang maririnig lang ay ang huni ng mga ibon. Hindi rin niya alam kung paanong napunta siya sa ganitong sitwasyon.

Surely, the drummer does what he says.

"You're well aware why we're here, yeah?"

She blinked, once then twice.
Fuck, it is really happening now. I have to face him.

"Rush, I know I promised you but do you really want this? Do you know what you're wishing for?"

"Very much, I believe I've been very clear on my intention since some years ago and I haven't changed my mind. Can you consider that now?"

Dous looked at her, she didn't say anything.

She seems to be in a relax mode, rare times where she doesn't want to think of complicated things.

Perhaps, it is the vibe? Or the place?

Strangely the place made her comfortable that she doesn't want to dwell on things too much.

"Paano ko patutunayan ang sarili ko kung ayaw mo naman akong papasukin I-"

"Duwag ako." Pagpuputol ni Xochitl sa sinasabi nito. There she said it, he looked a bit taken aback for a moment.

"I meant no harm, that I can assure you."

"What if walang patutunguhan 'to? Have you not consider that? I don't understand kung anong nakita mo sa'kin. But I still think this will not work. Akala ko oras lang yung kailangan, so I promised you. Akala ko baka paglipas ng ilang taon baka wala ng problema-

"Do you despise me that much? For us to be in this fucking same situation after all these years? Is it about my reputation?"

Pero mukhang hindi ito panahon para makapahinga ang utak ni Xochitl.

"I don't despise you, please. You are special to me, believe me hindi ikaw yung may problema dito, ako. In fact I think you are wonderful Rush, too wonderful that I don't see myself deserving of you. I don't want to trap someone in a life such as mine. I think as long we're together I might destroy all the things you've built for yourself. I can never take that away from you. You see? I am this complicated, I think too much. Do you really wish to be with someone like me?"

"Sinabi ko na sa'yo non diba that doesn't matter. But.." he let out a small sigh "You want me to stop, is that it?"

She took a step back as soon as Dous' eyes focused on her catching her very own gaze. His gaze this time was different, she felt it.

She took a step back but then he took two steps closer, until they're face to face, as if she could almost feel his breath on her face.

"Tell me then."

"Say directly into my face you want me out of your life and I will walk away, Xochitl."

"Bumalik na tayo sa cottage."

"Answer me-

"Hinahanap na nila tayo."

"No let's settle this once and for all. You messed up my system. I can never get you out of it even how hard I tried, believe me. I tried every fucking way, getting new hobbies, sports, even dating several ladies but I never nearly succeeded, not even once, so at the very least it is right I ask for answers on why should I not pursue you, yeah?"

"Answers? What kind of answers do you still want?"

"You never complain whenever I kiss you, why do you always respond..? Bakit mas nag-aalala ka pa sakin kesa sa sarili ko when it comes to things concerning me and my father? Bakit lagi kang nandiyan nong mga panahon na magulo kami ni Daddy? Why do I see care everytime you look at me during those situations? Why do you look so happy everytime I sing for you? Was that all pity?"

She didn't know what to say. This is one of the few instances that she didn't know what to say to him.

Is it not enough that her family has been keeping her mind busy she has to deal with this at this moment too?

"..yung iniihaw!"

"Hoy gago akin 'yan ilang minuto ako nagtiis don sa tapat ng ihawan tapos nanakawin mo lang? Brandy!"

"Nakain ko na gusto mo ba iluwa ko pa?"

Pareho silang napatingin sa direksyon ng cottage. They can hear Via and Brandy fighting over a grilled squid.

"B-bumalik na muna tayo sa cottage andiyan na pala si Brandy at River."

Siya na ang naunang bumasag sa katahimikan, tumalikod at naglakad kung nasaan ang iba. Hindi na siya lumingon pa kay Dous.

Great save she thought. Hindi niya lubos maisip na darating yung ganitong pagkakataon, minsan may tulong rin pala ang bunganga ni Olivia at Brandy.

"Xochitl my loves! Dito ka nag-ihaw si Via ng pusit kainin natin. Balita ko pampalinaw daw ng isip 'to." It was Brandy who greeted her first, when she saw her walking towards them.

Katabi ang nakasimangot na si Via at yakap yakap ang dalawang stick ng naihaw niya animo'y anak na pinoprotektahan mula kay Brandy.

Her friend is in a hyper mood than usual, kahit na alam naman ng lahat na marami itong energy. Her mood was a bit unusual, hindi na lang niya pinansin. Well Brandy has always been unpredictable baka nag-oover think lang siya.

Tinanggap na lang niya 'yung ino-offer na barbeque nito, hindi ito pusit. Sugpo iyon, Brandy's really unique.

Paglipas ng ilang minuto sumunod si Dous na dumating.

"Oy pareng Dous baka gusto mo rin ng inihaw na pusit? Para malinawan rin isip mo."
Nagtataka lang tumingin ito kay Brandy.

"..and that's not even pusit." mahinang sabi ni Gab.

"Nakakalinaw ba talaga ng pag-iisip yung pusit? Why haven't I heard of this before?"

It was Andre na nasa tabi lang ni Brandy ang nagtanong don na sinagot lang nito ng isang ngiti.

I have't heard of it either. Sa isip ni Brandy, isa pa hindi naman pusit yung hawak niya.

"Tanong niyo kay River." Brandy then said na sinundan ng tawa.

They all looked at River's direction. Confused.

Nagkabalikan na ba ang dalawa matapos lang bumili ng grocery?

Samantalang si River na kakagat pa lang sa barbeque ay natigilan din dahil sa sabay-sabay na paglingon ng mga kaibigan sa kaniya.

"Sa'kin?" He asked, pointing at himself looking like he has no idea either.

Doon lang na-gets ni Xochitl.
They saw.