fever dream | miyamura izumi

six

After walking home with Miyamura that day, it became a regular thing.

Kisa was surprised the first time he stopped at her locker when school ended. She surely didn't expect to become a part of his routine.

But it really made her confused on why he wasn't with Hori like always. She remembered seeing the both of them leave together after class everyday, so she wondered if they were okay.

Kisa witnessed their fight after all, so it was a possibility that they could have broken up. The only thing was that the couple acted pretty normally in class, but then again, they weren't the most affectionate in the first place.

"Uh- Miyamura-kun? Don't get me wrong, I like that we walk together, but um... don't you usually walk with Hori?" Kisa asked Miyamura, who was walking beside her.

"Well, I used to, but lately she's been slumped with student council work after school with the festival coming up. I just go to her house later."

The tiny drop of hope in her dissipated, and she felt disgusted with herself that it was even there in the first place.

"Oh I see, I'm just the fill in till she's back," Kisa teased, but the boy beside her still panicked.

"No! No, that's not what I-" he sighed. "All three of us can walk together when she's done."

She nudged his side to lighten him up, "I'm joking with you. I would like that."

Kisa wasn't really sure how walking with Hori would be, but all she knew is that it would be a whole bunch of awkward. She couldn't help but feel disdain for Miyamura's girlfriend after seeing her treatment of him, therefore she wasn't sure she would do a great job of concealing it.

I could definitely make up some excuse when she's back to walking with him, she thought. But part of her didn't want Hori to come back, so that she could keep this time with him forever.

"So Hori is a really hardworking person?" Kisa asked, brushing away the selfish thoughts. She hasn't really heard him talk much about her, besides the little mentions here and there.

Miyamura's lips upturned at the question, and unwanted jealousy pricked at her brain. "Definitely. She does so much for everyone, but there's a lot of pressure on her."

"I hope she doesn't take it out on you, Miyamura-kun, " the words slipped out before she could really think, and once they left her mouth she wanted to put them back in. She faced away from him, afraid of his reaction. "Sorry..."

"There's a lot of pressure on her," he repeated, and Kisa stayed quiet.

The pair made it to Miyamura's apartment complex, but the boy kept walking until he passed it.

"Miyamura? Aren't you going to go home?" Kisa came to a halt, figuring he just forgot.

He turned back with a mischievous smile and a twinkle in his blue eyes, "Hmm... no. I want to go to this coffee shop you seem to be so in love with."

He was teasing, but Kisa was in love with it. It was where she could hide out and do work until it was late enough to sneak back home. A safe haven, like Miyamura.

"Fine, but I get to pick your order."

-

The clouds in the sky were turning into a myriad of pinks and oranges, and for the past two hours Miyamura and Kisa had talked and laughed and attempted to study.

She ordered the boy a chai latte, and he ended up really loving it. So much that he got another one. The caffeine seemed to make him more playful and talkative than usual, and it was pretty amusing.

Every time Miyamura laughed, Kisa tried to memorize every second. She put her chin in her hand, observing his shoulder racking chuckles and the carefree way his eyes closed. He was so different, out of school... so free. And it was like a breath of fresh air for her.

"You know, you're much different than I thought," Kisa commented, looking up from the homework she couldn't concentrate on.

"How? Did you think I was an otaku? You're not alone."

The girl snickered, shaking her head. "Well yeah, that. But also, you're more open. I feel like if I ask you anything, you'd answer me."

He shrugged at her observation, "I think you're just easy to trust, Takagi."

Her head suddenly felt light at the simple, but heartwarming words. Did he really trust me?

"Then can I ask you something?" Kisa fiddled with her pen, watching as he hummed in permission.

She paused in thought. "Why'd you cut your hair? And... your piercings, I know you usually wear them out of school, but you took them out completely. Why?"

Miyamura played with his lip as he contemplated his answer, and Kisa kind of felt guilty for the interrogation. "Sorry- you don't have to answer if-"

"I cut my hair because I wanted to be good enough," he interrupted. "For Hori."

The black haired boy continued, "But it's not like that... It was my choice. She actually doesn't like it short because it made people like me more.

It was just- a lot of people were saying I didn't deserve her because of how I looked. So I cut it, because I wanted to deserve her. And it seemed to work."

It was as if Miyamura didn't see the problem behind his words. He didn't understand that he shouldn't have to change to feel deserving of someone, whether or whether not it was Hori's fault. Miyamura wasn't getting that his girlfriend should love him with short or long hair, no matter the difference it makes in the attention he gets.

Kisa wanted to say that, but all that came out of her mouth was: "Oh."

Looking at his face, he seemed to know that there was more on her mind, but he didn't press further.

"As for my piercings... I took them out because I was in a dark place when I did them. I hated myself, and I thought I should punish myself with pain. I'm in a better place now, and I didn't want to be reminded of how sad I felt."

The words he said stabbed at Kisa's heart. An overwhelming sense of sadness, mixed with admiration, came over her at the way he spoke.

He spoke like he wasn't ashamed of his past, and it didn't touch him at all anymore. He didn't hold back from fear of judgment, but instead laid out the truth in front of her. Kisa felt... proud.

She placed her hand on top of his, but it wasn't in comfort. He didn't need it because he thought his past made him who he was. She held his hand to tell him Thank you, for trusting me.

They held gazes, blue eyes communicating to brown ones, until Kisa pulled her hand back. "Hey, Miyamura?"

"Yes Takagi?" he smiled.

"Can you call me Kisa?"

A pink tinted the boy's cheeks at the request. "Alright. Kisa?"

She hummed in reply, a curious glint in her eye.

"I want you to call me Izumi."