fever dream | miyamura izumi

seven

Kisa's body racked with silent sobs as she tucked herself into her bed.

Her hand shook as she reached up to feel the bruise beginning to form on her cheek; the coldness of her fingertips were the only thing to soothe it.

Breathe Kisa, she closed her eyes and released shaky exhales.

In the living room, her father was on the phone with his work. The call had practically saved her from a worse beating, as if the gods heard her cries and sent an angel to help.

Kisa listened to his voice as she tried to calm herself down. He sounded so normal. She couldn't remember the last time he had spoken to her without an insult or a curse word or a tone so hateful.

It was probably before her mother had left. He was happy then.

But when she fell in love with someone else and ran off god knows where, the man who was Kisa's father left with her. In his place was someone who hated his own daughter, for she looked far too much like the woman he wasn't enough for.

Isamu, her brother, had it better. He was almost 18 by the time Mother left, and he only had to see it through for a couple of months before he could vanish from the hell that was home.

Isamu was able to defend himself from the wrath of his father and he tried his best to defend Kisa, whom he loved dearly. But when he had the chance to leave, he took it.

"Kisa, I'm going to leave. I'm sorry," a tear slid down his face as he embraced the small girl before him.

He kneeled down so he was looking up at her.

"Where are you going Onii-chan?" Kisa frowned at the sad look on her brother's face.

Isamu wiped the moisture off his cheeks and put on a strong front, "I'm going to France, Kisa."

"That's really far, right? How long will you be gone?"

The boy's heart broke at the question and his sister's big eyes staring down at him only intensified the guilt he felt.

"I don't know. But I'll come back for you, okay? Just hold on for a little bit," he held her face softly in his hands. "Be good."

Kisa couldn't help but look back on the memory bitterly. How could he leave her? She was just a little girl.

And the promise he made, it gave her false hope for years.

For years, every hit she endured, the words her brother said echoed in her head. It would all be okay, because he said he would come back for her.

This pain doesn't matter, because he would come back for her.

But he never did.

As she got older, Kisa stopped wishing for it overall. She didn't even want to see him. She didn't need him to protect her anymore, but it was because she had already gone through the worst.

Kisa pushed all thoughts of her brother away, not wanting to dwell on the past.

Before she could close her eyes and wish for sleep, her phone dinged. It was a cheap flip phone that she hid from her father, for he would most likely break it if he knew about it.

It's probably Minako.

She shuffled around the bed to find her phone, before squinting to read the screen. The text was from an unknown number.

This song reminded me of you. - Izumi