We Go On

Chapter Three

That weekend, Carter's mom, Katherine, was off, so they spent almost the entire time together.

"So, how have you been?" Katherine asks as she and Carter sit down for dinner.

"Good." Carter tosses her food around on her plate.

"How have you been feeling?" Katherine stares at Carter, waiting for some kind of emotion.

"Fine." Carter answers

"And how are your friends? I haven't seen them in a while. You should invite them over. Here, I'll call Ma-" Katherine says as she picks up the phone when Carter snaps.

"Stop! Just please stop." Carter raises her voice, Katherine puts down the phone, tears welling in her eyes. "Mom, I'm sorry." Carter reaches for her mom's hand.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. You've barely touched your food or spoken to me all day. The doctor said depression is normal for your condition but to make sure we get you help." Katherine explains

"I'm not depressed mom. I promise I'm just tired." Carter insists

"Okay..." Katherine continues her meal, her thoughts still focused on Carter.

"Has dad called?" Carter speaks after a few silent moments.

"No... I'm sorry hun. I've called multiple times and sent emails. He knows, there's no way that he can't." Katherine says

"It's fine. I figured he wouldn't care." Carter says

"I don't think it's-" Katherine starts to say.

"He left. He left because he doesn't care." Carter says, dropping her fork down onto her plate and looking up at her mom. She sighed heavily, "I'm just gonna go up to my room. Thanks for dinner." she gets up from the table, clears her plate, and goes to her room.

Carter locks the door behind her and pulls out a box from the very back of her closet. In the box, she has her journal, 3 pictures, and a pack of razor blades.

One picture is of her and her mom, another is of her and her 5 best friends, and the last one is the one and the only picture she has left of her dad that survived her mom's "after separation" cleanup. She puts the others away except the one of her and her father.

"You could at least pretend to care..." she whispers to her dad in the picture. Tears begin to stream down her face. She holds the picture in her lap for a while, silently crying, and then she throws the picture back into the box and takes out her journal and the pack of razor blades.

She gets the shower going and slides down to sit under the running water. Her vision was blurry due to the tears. Blade in her hand, and there she spent the next 45 minutes.

After she cleaned herself up and threw on her baggy sweater and some black leggings, she crawled into bed and she was out like a light.

***

Later on in the night, Carter's door opens, and in comes her mom. Katherine climbs into bed next to Carter and wraps her arms around her daughter. Gently planting a kiss on her head, "I understand why you won't tell anyone. But you'll always have me in your corner. I love you, my sweet girl." Katherine whispers

Carter snuggles in closer to her mom, softly making out the words, "I love you more."

"I love you most." her mom says back and they slept peacefully the rest of the night.