10. Quiet Boys Thoughts

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-Travis' pov-

I am not a sinner. I didn't mean to kiss him. Im not a fag. I was under the influence, that doesn't count right? If I prayed hard enough, would I be forgiven? If I could speak, would I be forgiven? Would all of my problems wash away? Would I be old Travis? Old Travis hurt people. Is that not a sin?

I am a sinner. I kissed a boy. I hurt people. I hurt Sal. I hurt Larry. I hurt the whole group. Why would they ever forgive me? I should not be forgiven. I don't deserve it. Father agrees. I get hit because I deserve it. I deserve it for being sinner. Mother died because of me. If I wasn't born she would be alive. She would be happy. I caused this.

What if I disappeared? What if I—

The bathroom door opened. It snapped me out of my thoughts. I wiped my tears away and got up. I unlocked the stall. I was angry. The door made a loud noise. "Fuck!" Fisher?

"Travis?"

Ugh whatever. Ignore him. I walked to the mirror and looked at a newly forming bruise. I noticed some try blood and pushed past Sal to grab a paper towel and wet it. I walked back to the mirror and began cleaning my nose. "Shouldn't you go to the nurse?" Sal asked. I stopped what I was doing and turned to face Sal. I stared into his eyes. Warning him that I was not in the mood. "Could you atleast speak to me?" I shook my head.

-Timeskip-

I ran out of the bathroom. To be honest, I don't know where I was gonna go. I could just leave the school and hide out somewhere? Yeah, I'll do that.

A/N: SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER, I JUST WANTED TO GIVE SOME CONTEXT ABOUT LAST CHAPTER AND WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH TRAVIS. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS STILL QUITE VAGUE

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