Déjà Vu

Chapter 11

Then ~ Fred

He wasn't quite sure what time it was, but he was positive that the sunrise wasn't far away. He and Evelyn were sitting beneath their tree, looking over the night sky that reflected across the pond's flat surface. They hadn't spoken in a while, both of their thoughts much too preoccupied with other things to attempt to have a casual conversation.

He was leaving in the morning. She didn't have to leave for her school for a couple of days, but he and his siblings were going to go visit their older brother before school would start, and the train left at eight o'clock. Again, he wasn't wearing a watch, but he was pretty sure they didn't have much time left.

He squeezed her a little tighter with his arms that were wrapped around her waist, her back pressed to his chest, wanting to assure himself that she was still there with him, that it wasn't over yet.

He heard a sniffle from below him, one so small and weak that it shattered his heart.

Without a second thought, he bent down to press a kiss to her cheek. "Hey," he cooed into her ear and gave her another kiss. "Shhh," he hushed her and brought his thumb up to wipe a tear away from her cheek. "It's going to be alright, yeah?"

She nodded weakly, not quite looking like she believed him. "Yeah," she said in a choked-up voice and cleared her throat, trying to school her expression into something less miserable.

He squeezed her tighter against him again. "I'm going to miss you so much, but it'll get better. It has to."

She nodded and shuffled back even closer to him, even though there wasn't any more space to occupy.

They sat in silence again, their bodies breathing together. He was tracing his thumb over her bare stomach, a little slip of skin revealed from where his orange sweater had gotten bunched up. He wondered if she'd give him the sweater back. He didn't really care either way, she'd worn it so much over the course of the summer that it was almost more hers than it was his.

He sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head. "There's three words that I want to say to you, but we agreed that we wouldn't say it so I won't."

She was silent for a moment, only the sounds of the quiet night filling the air. "Yeah, don't say them."

He kissed the top of her head. "I won't."

She tilted her head back so that he had to pull his lips away and looked up to him, her face upside down to him. "I'd say them back though, you know."

He had to swallow the lump in his throat. "I know."

He couldn't keep the silent tears from spilling out of his eyes as he walked back to his house with his sweater that still smelled like her clutched between his fingers. No matter how many times he wiped them away or tried to keep them down, they just kept coming. He couldn't tear his thoughts away from her; he couldn't stop thinking about all the things that they should have done together, about all the things that they would do if they had more time.

He couldn't keep his mind off of her golden skin, of her deep brown hair, of her eyes that he'd always be in absolute awe of, no matter how long he studied them for.

He couldn't stop thinking of her laugh, the bright, airy sound of it that filled his stomach with something that he'd never felt before. Or the way her eyes would crinkle up when she did, laughing along with her.

There were a lot of things that were spinning around inside of his head, but every single one surrounded Evelyn. He had absolutely no idea how he was going to get over her.