Starlight

xi

I could hear thunder as it rolled over camp. I hadn't left the Drop Ship in almost four days. Mostly to avoid seeing Murphy, and partially to help Clarke with Jasper. Anything to keep my mind off things.

Granted Bellamy tried to lure me out. But there was no way in hell I was risking the chance at having an awkward situation with Murphy.

I watched on at Jasper woke and Octavia and Monty drank with him. I watched on as Clarke argued with Bellamy about this or that. Mindlessly I putted around the three levels of the drop ship. It wasn't until Clarke and Bellamy rushed in and literally dragged me out that I had seen real daylight.

Clarke stomped her foot and crossed her arms whilst Bellamy just looked worried. For me I guess. For my mental state.

"Murphy has been nothing but a shit person since the other night. Now it's time for one of you to tell us what the hell is going on! He's more of a jerk than he already was." Clarke snapped.

A loud clap of thunder boomed then and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "It's just thunder, Lil." Bellamy cooed and slung an arm over my shoulder.

"He... he told me he loved me." I spoke quietly. Bellamy ran his hand up and down on my shoulder; encouraging me to go on. "But it wasn't in a way you think. We were... We're doing stuff." It was getting awkward because Bellamy was like my brother. "And I told him to shut up." I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

"Oh..." Clarke breathed out. "Well... Then..." she was at loss for words. "Do you love him?" She asked quietly.

I opened my eyes and looked her dead in the eye. "Of course I do." It was then that I started crying again. I loved him. I loved him more than I loved anything. But now I'm almost certain he hates me.

Clarke rolled her eyes and walked off. Bellamy pulled me into a wet hug. "They say rain helps things grow." His voice box vibrated on my forehead. I loved the sound of his voice.

"Of course. Everything needs water to grow." I laughed. Someone cleared their throat and I looked around Bellamy to see Murphy tightly gripped on the arm by Clarke.

"You two better work this out before I have to work it out. Bellamy, lets go." Clarke was a boss. Anyone could tell.

I looked at Murphy who wasn't looking at me. In fact he looked everywhere but at me. "Murph..." I sighed and took a step closer to him. "I'm sorry about-"

"Telling me to shut up? Ignoring me for almost a week? For pretending you are part of the Drop Ship!? You have no right. I told you I love you, and you told me to shut up. You," he was in my face and hand his index and middle fingers on my chest, "told me to shut up." Fury was noticed in his brilliant blue eyes.

"I didn't know I what to say!" I screamed. "I didn't know I loved you the. I didn't know!"

"What do you mean you didn't know? You know now?" He spat out. "You know now that you've had time to think it over. Weigh your options? You don't love me. You never have and never will."

"How can you say that? You don't know how I feel. That's why I'm telling you. I love you. I love you. I love you! It just shocked me when you told me."

"So you're immediate reaction is to tell me to shut up?" Hate graced his featured and I was slightly scared. He took a mincing step closer and through the pouring rain he shouted. "I never wanna see you again. Never. I don't love you."

My heart broke. He meant it. The look in his eye, he hate in his walk. She harsh tone of his voice. He hates me. He doesn't love me.

I stood there shell shocked. The rain slowed to an almost stop. The thunder had rolled away. I felt numb.

I felt empty. Lost. Gross. I spotted Bellamy talking to some girl. He smiled softly, and patted her shoulder lovingly. He looked up and made eye contact with me.

I made my way over to his and hugged his torso. He wrapped his arms around me and walked me to his tent. "Didn't go well I see." I shook my head and took the dry shirt he handed me. I striped off my wet one and thew it on.

"You know he's an idiot right?" Bellamy said huskily.

***

Uh-oh... I smell trouble on the horizon.... Do you think Lilphy will work through this?