Can I kiss you? | ChangLix

💋|10

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After Changbin had the for him rather unpleasant, yet enlightening conversation, he had pulled himself together one last time to produce the song he actually wanted to have finished a long time ago.

To Changbin's surprise, everything went pretty well, he could finally form his thoughts on paper and the usual writing flow was back, showing only that the black-haired one had been unable to write all this time only because one thing had been bothering him subconsciously.

Felix.

That was also the first thing Changbin sought out when he got home. He didn't even bother to put his shoes down neatly, but simply slipped them off and shoved them in with the rest of the mess of shoes that belonged to the other members.

In the dorm it was dark by now since it was already after midnight and most of the people were already in their rooms. Jisung had also said goodbye directly to the older one and sneaked into Minho's, Chan's and Seungmin's room, since the blond-haired one had his whole bed full of stuff that there was no room at all for him to sleep in his bed.

As Changbin walked to his room and Felix's, he noticed his heart suddenly starting to beat fast, almost jumping out of his chest. The pounding grew louder as he put his hand around the door handle and pushed it down. Slowly Changbin opened the door, saw that it was already dark in the room and Felix seemed to be asleep. At least he didn't hear any YouTube videos that the younger one always watched before falling asleep.

Cautiously, the older stepped into the dark room that was lit only by Felix's duck lamp that he had down next to his bed in a socket.

This was the lamp Changbin had given him when they first shared a room. The freckle-faced boy had a panic fear of the dark and being in a new environment didn't make it any easier. In the beginning Felix was always allowed to sleep in Changbin's bed, stroking the frightened boy's head and back and waiting until he fell asleep on his chest. But since that was no solution over time, Changbin, as if by chance, when he was looking for a small gift for his sister, came across the little yellow duck that served as a night light.

Since then Felix had this lamp on every night and since then he hadn't slept together with Changbin in the same bed. Although the black-haired guy was glad that Felix could sleep better at night now, since he was always restless and tossing and turning in his sleep, Changbin still missed falling asleep with the younger one in his arms, stroking his soft hair and giving him a kiss on his forehead before he fell asleep.

With slow steps, Changbin walked to Felix's bed. The younger lay with his back to him, pressing his body against one of his favorite plushies.

With a smile on his face, Changbin carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at the sleeping face that was partially covered with orange strands. The body beneath him rose and fell in a slow and steady rhythm, could hear the freckled boy breathing quietly beneath him.

"I'm so sorry..." the black-haired one whispered into the darkness, speaking to Felix even though he couldn't hear him. Changbin's fingers wandered to Felix's hair as if on their own, brushing individual annoying strands out of his face there so he could get a better look at the sleeping beauty beneath him.
"Whatever I did to make you distance yourself from me like that all of a sudden, I'm sorry." gently the older's fingers ran through Felix's soft hair, tickling his head while a smile could be seen on his lips.
"I just hope I can make it up to you, because I just can't stand it when you're not with me." a stabbing pain set in Changbin's chest, reminding him how much Felix actually meant to him. He could no longer deny it. Yes, he loved his best friend and band member - and he had for far too long.

It was a warm spring day and Changbin and Felix were riding their bikes together for the first time. They wanted to use the time to do something together since they had the day off and decided to go on a bike tour. They rode along the Han River, enjoying the fresh windy air around their skin and breathing in the spring air, feeling the warm rays of the sun on their skin, as they triggered a pleasant feeling in their bodies.

Then, as the sun slowly set, the two stopped at a bridge. Below them ran the river, while in front of them was the most beautiful view. The evening sun disappeared behind the houses, making the blue water below them glisten while the sky turned into a painted work of art, showing itself in all its beautiful warm colors.

But for Changbin, there was only one thing he found beautiful at that moment. He looked at Felix as he closed his eyes, letting the last warm rays of the sun touch his skin, while his perfectly shaped lips were dressed in a smile and his freckles looked like a constellation of stars in the night sky.

It was only then that the black-haired one realized how crazily his heart was pounding in his chest, how the butterflies were raging in his stomach and how much he just wanted to pull the younger boy to him at that moment to wrap his arms around Felix's petite body. Changbin had never had such a desire to touch a person, to hold them in his arms and look at them for hours.

That was the day Changbin fell madly in love with the younger one. He had been holding on to these feelings for a year now, guarding his heart that beat only for Felix, hoping that someday his heart would face the reality that it could never have Felix and not be able to achieve the satisfaction his heart desired.

Sighing, Changbin removed his hand from Felix's hair again, realizing how deeply he was actually lost in his thoughts.

Without thinking further about his actions, he leaned forward, was so close to Felix's face that his heart almost jumped out of his chest and the pleasant scent of Felix tickled his nose. It didn't take long before he pressed his lips on the soft skin of the sleeping boy, giving him a kiss on the forehead. His lips stayed there for a moment and Changbin really had to restrain himself from letting a sigh escape through his mouth.

He would love to never take his lips off Felix again, to kiss every inch of his body.

Slowly he detached himself from Felix again, admiring the sleeping boy for a moment with a smile, until he pushed himself out of bed and walked to his own.

He lay down in bed, turned his back to the room and buried his body under his covers, listening to the loud beat of his heart as it pounded wildly in his chest.

... but it was not the only heart that filled the silent room with its beats.

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