"Can I kiss you?"
"H-huh?!"
~ In which Felix band member and best friend Changbin stole a drunken kiss from him.
Start: 09/15/21
End: 11/17/21
[short story series]
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Already for the 10th time Felix played the same track, practiced continuously the same choreography although he already mastered it perfectly. He just wanted to think about nothing and clear his head.
He just couldn't get the sight of Changbin's dejected and sad expression out of his head, how he had practically begged him with his eyes to talk to him, and it broke Felix's heart. He wanted to tell him what was going on in his mind and how he really felt about the older one.
The last thing Felix wanted was to be as far away from the Changbin as he was now. He missed Changbin running his hands through his hair and playing dreamily with a strand of his hair, or pulling the younger boy onto his lap for no reason other than he wanted him with him.
A burning sensation hurt Felix's eyes, he started to laugh when he felt the first tear running down his cheeks. Wiping his fingers over the running tear he saw the glistening film on his fingertips. "And now I'm going to start crying...." The orange-haired one said to himself, unable to believe how pathetic he was, completely absorbed in his heartache and unable to look the person he loved so much in the eye or explain what was wrong with him.
How could he?
He couldn't tell Changbin that he had drunkenly kissed him and that it was the end for Felix because he couldn't stop his feelings anymore. All these years he had managed to suppress his true feelings for the older one, just enjoying the closeness to his best friend as it was enough for him. It was enough for Felix, as he longed for nothing else.
But now he craved something else, and something he could never have in his life.
Changbin's lips.
He wanted to feel his lips on his so badly, wanted to experience the same exploding feelings in his stomach as the night when their lips first met. He longed for it, was almost obsessed with the thought.
Frustrated, Felix reached into his orange hair and slid down the wall, letting the pain in his chest take over, accepting the feeling of emptiness and the way his heart contracted painfully, his throat constricted by the forming lump, taking away any chance of breathing.
A choked sob left Felix's mouth as he could no longer contain his tears and the burning sensation in his throat, pulling his knees tight to his chest, burying his fingers in his hair.
The tears burned like fire as they ran down the freckled boy's cheeks, leaving a salty taste at the corners of his mouth as the tears dripped onto his gray sweatpants, leaving their trail of pain and sorrow.
