CONFUSED

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He stayed. Xander stayed. By my side all night. I woke more times than I can count, screaming and sweating and he was there to calm me down and put me to sleep. He didn't sleep beside me but he held my hand all night sitting near the bed on a chair. I would have felt guilty for troubling him but my mind was fogged up with fear and pain.

This time when I woke up, I wasn't screaming. I just laid down on the bed staring at the ceiling, feeling nothing but an empty void. Xander drove away all my monsters last night and I don't know how I will ever be able to repay him. I heard the door open and I closed my eyes. Too scared to face anyone, I just lay there praying that whoever it was would just leave. A few seconds later I felt the bed dip and light touch of someone's finger tracing my hair.

It was Xander. His scent clouded my space and I felt my body relax. How does someone who I barely know have such an effect on me?

"I know you are awake kitten. Open your eyes. Daddy is here Kitten. I promise to keep you safe" he whispered ever so softly in my hair. But I couldn't. I couldn't watch that look of pity in his eyes or maybe disgust. He would hate me for putting him into so much trouble.

"It's okay baby. Daddy just wants to know if you are in pain"

Pain? And suddenly a huge wave of pain passed my body. I could feel my stomach aching and I moaned in pain. Pulling myself closer to Xander I just let him soothe me.

"Tell me what hurts kitten. I won't be able to help if I don't know. I need to know" he sounded like he was in pain. Did I hurt him? I felt him move closer to my body and his hands snaked around my stomach to my waist. The movement caused me to hiss in pain.

"Fuck" I heard him growl. Grabbing my shoulders lightly, he laid me flat on the bed and kissed my eyes.

"I am going to lift the shirt baby. I promise I won't hurt you" he waited. Waited for me to say something. To allow him to see the bruise that might have formed on my stomach when that man hit me and I felt sick. It would be ugly.

I shook my head refusing to let him see something so ugly. He growled out loud and I opened my eyes in fear. It was the first time I saw him since yesterday morning and it felt like a decade ago. His eyes that were normally filled with anger were now filled with fear and regret.

"It's going to be me or the doctor outside. And the way that I am feeling right now I don't think I will let anyone touch you so god help me Thea, just let me see the wound"

Vulnerable. That's how I felt around him. No matter what he does I always feel so weak around him. I nod my head slightly praying that he misses my permission but this man was a hawk. He moved his face near my stomach and lifted the shirt. His fingers grazed my skin as he lifted it up and I felt comfort in his actions.

I waited for him to say something. Anything. But the room was completely quiet. I went to cover my stomach in shame when a loud growl echoed in the room. In a second Xander was up and marching towards the door.

"Xa...Xander" I whispered. Was it selfish of me to ask him to stay knowing he now finds me ugly and disgusting. No man wants something broken and tainted. But maybe just for a little while he could comfort me. Chase away the monsters.

Hearing me say his name stopped him.

"Please don't go. Just hold me for a while then I promise I will leave you alone. Never come back or trouble you again. Plea...Please" I spoke, pain and desperation evident in my voice

"GOD DAMMIT THEA. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN SAFE. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE" He screamed, punching his hand in the wall. Xander was my protector. He saved me.

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