july 2015
houston tx
Ashley gets in her car and drives away as soon as she's clipped in her seatbelt.
She doesn't look back at Awsten, even though she knows he's still stood in the driveway, watching her leave.
She can't be mad that he's not coming after her, because she told him not to— but a part of her still wishes that he would.
She only makes it to the end of the street, when the tears in her eyes begin to interfere with her vision; she wants to keep driving, just because she wants to get home so she can cry in private, but she knows that's not a good idea.
So, Ashley pulls over at the next safest point she can, and allows herself to sob, with her forehead resting against the steering wheel.
She doesn't know how long she cries for, but soon she's all dried up.
She sits upright, and takes a deep breath, before continuing her drive back to her complex.
As soon as she's through the door, she's feels painfully alone.
Every part of her wants to curl up in a ball on her bed and not move, so that she can just wallow in her own sadness for hours.
However, logically, she knows that'll only make her feel worse— so instead, she pulls out her phone and calls Gwennie.
At first, Ashley doesn't think she's going to answer, which would just be the final straw for her today, but thankfully, Gwennie does pick up.
"Hey, angel!" She chimes, her bright tone already making Ashley's chest feel a little lighter. "Everything okay?" Gwennie asks, having heard a small sniffle coming from the other end of the line.
"I, uhm—"
Ashley is tempted to lie. She could lie and say that everything's fine, but after today, she's realised that she needs more people around her.
Her life is so reliant upon the same people. She's realised that she doesn't have anyone in her life who doesn't overlap with Gracie.
She's always made friends through Gracie, or through Awsten.
Sure, she loves most of them, and wouldn't change them for the world— but, if she's being pushed out of their lives, maybe she needs to have a support system elsewhere.
"No, not really," Ashley answers, honestly. She speaks up again before Gwennie can reply. "Can we go out? I just need to do something."
"Yeah, of course," she agrees, easily.
"What should we do?" Ashley questions, taking a seat on the edge of her bed.
"You decide!" Gwennie insists. "Whatever you're comfortable with. I'm easy with anything," she adds, warmly.
Ashley has to pause for a moment, appreciating the subtle kindness, even though it's really just the bare minimum.
She didn't realise how tripped up she got on someone genuinely caring about her— but maybe it just means a little more after the day she's had.
