august 2015
houston tx
Awsten and Ashley had moved to the couch to continue talking.
They're still holding hands, and they're sat closely— their legs are practically on top of one another's.
Ashley leans her head to the side, resting it against the cushion as she gazes at Awsten.
It feels surreal that he's admitted how he feels towards her, and she's trying her best to avoid thinking about everything that could go wrong from here.
She just wants to enjoy this feeling right now; the boy that she's liked since forever, feels the same way.
Awsten gently tucks a strand over hair away from Ashley's face, his hand lingering for a moment as she leans into his touch.
He decides against pulling his hand away, and instead begins stroking his hand through her hair, which persuades her to move closer to him.
"You know, my mom called me while I was in the studio," Awsten begins, clearing his throat, after they'd been quiet for a long time. "I think it was like, day two or three that we were out there," he adds, "and she didn't say hi, didn't ask how I was or anything like that when I answered— which she usually always does. The first thing she asked was if I'd spoken to you."
"Really?" Ashley looks at him through her eyelashes, her brows furrowed curiously.
"Mhm," Awsten hums. "She told me she heard us arguing."
"Yeah, she told me that, too," Ashley mumbles. "She didn't hear what it was about, though."
"Thank god," he lets out a breathy laugh. "If she did, I think she might've hit me."
"Why?" Ashley inquires.
"Because it was just stupid," Awsten admits, with a shrug. "She said I needed to at least apologise for how I spoke to you, and—"
"Is that the only reason you apologised to me?" Ashley sits up, instinctively shuffling away from Awsten's touch. "Because she told you to?"
"What? No, no," he denies, quickly. "This was after I'd already texted you," Awsten tells her. "Look, I promise— I can even show you," he pulls out his phone, opening his call log, as well as his texts with Ashley, to prove the time stamps. "She was just looking out for you. I knew I needed to apologise to you, and that's why I did it. Not because of anything else."
"Okay," Ashley nods, relaxing again. "Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just like— assume."
"It's alright," Awsten assures, returning his hand to her hair, softly running his fingers through it again. "I'm sorry, too," he says, sincerely. "I got mad at you for no reason that night. The thought of you and Geoff just— it made my blood boil."
"You got jealous over me," Ashley teases, letting out a small giggle.
"It's not the first time," Awsten mutters.
"So I hear," she hums.
"What? Who would—" He sputters at first, before pausing. "What else has Geoff told you?" Awsten sighs.
"Not a lot, I swear," Ashley laughs. "He said you tried to tell Jake not to take me out to eat on our first date, and he didn't listen."
"Don't fucking get me started on that guy," he grumbles, frowning. "I actually feel kinda bad about how much I complained about him to Geoff...He must've been so sick of hearing all that shit constantly," Awsten chuckles, and Ashley smiles at the sound. "I'm really glad you're not with him anymore," he murmurs, truthfully.
"Me too," she concurs, easily.
"I have a question," Awsten speaks up again, after a moment of quiet.
"Shoot," Ashley responds.
"Were you happy when you found out that Grace and I were over?" He questions, cautiously.
"Not at first," she admits, "because I could see that you were hurt."
"Really?"
"Mhm," Ashley hums, turning further into his side. "I won't lie, I was kind of hoping it would happen... I always felt really guilty for it, but every time you had an argument or she'd start some shit, I'd just hope that you'd finally get fed up of her bullshit," she continues, earning a small laugh.
"Elaborate on bullshit," Awsten urges.
"I'm surprised Geoff didn't tell you about my little rant," Ashley murmurs, earning a curious nudge. "That day him and I got coffee, he just let me vent about a couple things that pissed me off about her. That argument she started at Warped, how she turned up late and wanted to leave early. How she stopped going to every show? That pissed me off," she explains, as Awsten listens intently.
"Why'd that piss you off?" He presses.
"Because your girlfriend is supposed to support you," Ashley sighs. "I think I just watched everything from the outside for so long, I saw a lot more of the negatives," she adds. "It was just annoying, 'cause I always felt like I cared about you way more than she did."
Awsten feels like his heart melts at that; he doesn't know how he didn't see it all this time, even though Ashley was always right in front of him.
"What now?" She asks, after another pause, lifting her head from Awsten's shoulder to meet his gaze.
"What do you mean?" He returns, lightly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"What about Gracie?" She lets out a sigh, sinking into the couch.
"Your first thought after the past hour, is my sister?" Awsten raises his eyebrow, earning a small giggle.
"Stop," Ashley blushes, leaning forward to hide her face in his chest. "That's not what I mean. Be serious for a second."
"I'm always serious," Awsten retorts, before placing a gentle hand on her face, guiding her to look up at him again.
"I think she'd freak out," Ashley frowns.
"Me too," he nods.
Awsten watches her intently, wishing he could see what's going through her mind; he can tell that she's overthinking this already.
"Maybe we should just..." he begins, letting out a breath. "Let's not put any pressure on ourselves, yeah?" Awsten suggests. "We're still friends, and we always will be. Nothing is gonna ruin that," he assures her, taking Ashley's hands in his own. "This doesn't have to change anything."
"And no one has to know, right?" She inquires, holding his gaze.
"No one has to know," Awsten confirms.
•••
